My kids love hanging out with Shane and his team from Adamson Lawn Care (www.adamsonlawncare.com)

I recently popped down to my local grocery store with a bottle of wine and farewell card for my favourite cashier, who was working her last shift. Some complications as a result of MS have forced her to retire. Every time I see her, I get a hug as she makes fun of my monstrous grocery bill and comments on how many or how few children I happened to have with me on that particular day.

I find it hard saying goodbye to community helpers. When my mail carrier died a couple of years ago, I was pretty torn up. I got to wondering if everyone gets attached to community helpers the way I do and, wanting to do a temperature check to see if this was “normal”, did some asking around.

From that bit of digging, I now hypothesize that people whose kids have special needs feel particularly connected to community helpers. We become very attached to the various people in the lives/health/development of our children, and perhaps it carries over to community helpers in general.

I’ll never forget how I felt when I found out, a few days before the new school year began, that our school principal was being transferred. This is the kind of news that keeps parents like me up at night. We think about the years spent relationship building, advocating, winning that principal over – all that time, energy and investment, gone. A new principal means having to start all over again.

The same goes for those in the medical profession. When friend and Mabel staffer, Melissa, found out that her daughter’s very first nurse was leaving their hospital, she experienced extreme distress. How can these people just up and move on when we rely on them? There is no such thing as a “simple” transfer in our worlds.

Last month, my son’s young, vibrant and extraordinary speech therapist, Kim Pace, finally lost her incredibly courageous battle against cancer. She leaves behind countless devastated parents of children with special needs.

They say that it takes a village to raise a child. I, for one, appreciate and value every one of those villagers. I will miss Bonnie the cashier and Kim the speech therapist. My village won’t be the same without them.

I was recently given an amazing opportunity from my friends at Disney Canada to attend the Disney Social Media Moms conference in Orlando. I jumped at the chance – by March, who doesn’t need to get a hit of that happy drug the Big Mouse deals out?

The added bonus was that this conference is a family getaway….well, for a family of four, anyway. Once I got a friend to agree to come along as babysitter, I was left with two kid spots.

You understand my dilemma. How does a mama of six pick her two “favourites” to bring along? One friend suggested making them audition via domestic challenges; another friend said not to bring any of them.

The thought of leaving everyone at home to be “fair” was not considered. I want my kids to understand that sometimes they get opportunities and sometimes they don’t. Often, neighbours and friends feel obligated to invite several of my kids to their child’s birthday party because they don’t want anyone to feel left out. I assure them that the uninvited kids will be just fine – they know that their turn will come. I think disappointment is not such a terrible feeling for a kid to have to deal with now and again.

Choosing which children to bring was not actually hard. I’m pretty practical when it comes to the kiddos and bringing the two biggies, ages 10 and 11, made sense for a few reasons: they would be easy for my friend to take care of, they are tall enough for every ride and, most importantly, they have the stamina to survive amusement park hours and activity without getting crabby.

Having said that, I wanted to communicate the travel plans to the other children with as little drama as possible, so this is what I told the unchosen:
“I have to go to a work conference in Florida. I am allowed to bring two children with me but they have to be 10 years of age and older. There is a chance that they may go to Disney for a day or so while we are there.”

I explained all of the fun activities I had lined up for them in my absence. The two biggies then did an exceptional job of keeping quiet about any trip plans that were in the works.

All went well until we arrived at Disney and had dinner with all of the other conference attendees and their families. My kids observed and noted that there were many children there under the age of 10 years old.

How did I explain that to them? I told them that while it is always important to be as truthful as possible, sometimes lying is appropriate. I explained that “white lies” sometimes help to cushion the truth and this was one of those situations. I trusted that they had the maturity to understand that and, indeed, they completely got it, which confirmed why they were the chosen ones. So on top of having a fabulous time on Space Mountain, at Epcot Centre and the Magic Kingdom, they learned a few life lessons.

No question, teaching kids when to lie is a tricky topic – have you had to deal with it? What has been your experience with “white lies” and your kiddos?

People say that I’m brave for having six kids. My take is that it’s nothing compared to those crazy mamas whose kids are out of the baby stage when they go and immerse themselves right back into it. Imagine ditching diaper bags, sleepless nights and poopy bottoms only to return to them several years later. At least in my situation, I have not had a chance to come up for air and experience what it feels like to be out of that phase. Once I have a taste of the sweet life, I’m thinking there is no going back.

A couple of years ago, Daddy-o turned 40 and my sister and BIL hosted a party. We arrived with a bucketful of newborn baby. My BIL had a big chuckle and noted that at his 40th a few years down the road, he would be on easy street – his kids would be teenagers. There were many laughs as we predicted that Daddy-o would never be in a position to retire seeing that he’d likely have kids still in university when he was in his sixties. Funny thing is, that bucketful of baby was only #5 – baby #6 came a couple of years later. Yes, no retirement plans for Daddy-o.

So you can imagine the fun we have had welcoming my sister and BIL’s new baby into the world last week. You can also envision their shock and horror upon discovering baby #3 was on the way, just as they were plotting their “Freedom 40” plan. And you can definitely picture how much fun Daddy-o had reminding BIL that he will now have a toddler at his 40th birthday party.

The shock and horror I refer to lasted for only about a minute before they were absolutely thrilled. OK, the shock hung around for a while. You see, they actually always wanted three kids but had a rough baby-making history and in the end it seemed they were extremely lucky to get the two they got. So, this little “baby-that-could’ is pretty darn special in our books.

During my sister’s surprise baby adventure, I’ve spoken to a lot of mamas who have had a similar experience. They all reported that, while the news initially took some digesting, in the end it was the best thing that ever happened to them and their families.

That may be true. Still, don’t expect to hear about any surprises from me.

Big thanks to Photog friends for these awesome images. Nicola popped around to see baby Isla at home and took this beautiful baby shot. Julie saw Isla and her big sibs at her studio and worked her usual magic!