Daddy-o smootching Fin
A friend on Facebook recently posted some Valentine’s Day advice to all the men out there. In short, she suggested that all women gush over Valentine’s Day and appreciate special gifts and attention in celebration of this holiday. Even the women who say they don’t care, really do – deep down.
I looked deep into my soul to see if I wasn’t being honest with myself. After some serious self-analysis, I have to speak up on behalf of the unromantic – we think Valentine’s Day is at best, hokey and cheesy, at worst, bordering on pervy and creepy. Don’t get me wrong, I let my kids give out cards to their classmates and even sneak a heart-shaped chocolate treat into their school bags. It’s the fake romance stuff that freaks me out.
I considered some of the most traditional romantic Valentine’s gifts and thought it might be useful to give an explanation as to why I am not interested in them.
1) Flowers
I think of flowers as something that is going to take up valuable counter space for a week. When that week is over, I’ll have to get rid of the dead flowers and scrub the skanky vase. Don’t even get me started on the money – I’d rather not have to re-mortgage the house to cover the cost of my dozen Valentine’s Day roses.
2) Jewelry
I’m just not a jewelry gal. Daddy-o was pretty gutted back in our courtin’ days when I rejected the idea of having an engagement ring. In the end, I generously agreed that we could exchange engagement rings. Mine has now been sitting in a jewelry box for well over a decade, alongside its little friend, the wedding band.
3) The romantic dinner
I prefer our usual date night, which includes putting the kids to bed and sitting together with our laptops, side by side. In my books, there is no need to pay two babysitters and an expensive restaurant bill for some quality time together.
4) Cuddles from your adoring husband as you watch “Grey’s” on the couch together
Quite frankly, after cuddling with six small humans all day long, I just want a bit of personal space. Oh, and I don’t watch “Grey’s” or any other romantic-type shows anyway.
5) A lovely bottle of wine
I’m a beer drinker. Straight from the bottle.
I can’t be the only one out there? Speak up, please! I feel like I need to put an ad in the classifieds: “Unromantic Married Mom Seeks Like Women for Friendship and Understanding”.
Comments:
There are only a few things that I like about Valentine’s Day, and when I say ‘few’ I actually mean one. I fondly remember my mom sneaking a little chocolate and note into our lunch boxes on Valentine’s Day. It was memorable because we were not the kind of kids who had treats showered upon us. I have enjoyed carrying on that tradition with my school aged children. That about sums up the joy I get out of Valentine’s Day.
The main problem is that I have a strong aversion to anything cheezy and Valentine’s Day is just dripping with it. The first dance at weddings makes me cringe and seeing a smooching couple can create symptoms that rival morning sickness. Occasionally daddy-o has given me a piece of jewelry thinking it’s the right thing to do. Instead of getting emotional and speechless, I am left questioning why he didn’t get me something more sensible – like real estate, for example. Now real estate is something I could get giddy over. Why jewelry when I don’t even wear my wedding rings? I should mention that not wearing my wedding rings caused my father to comment this week about how inappropriate it is considering my “condition”. Yes, I really had to field that comment.
Maybe I had some romantic notions in the past but considering what the last decade has served up, you can see why there has been a shift towards the practical.
Valentine’s Day creates a fair bit of work for me. You can imagine what a huge undertaking it is to oversee the completion of Valentine’s cards for all the school friends, neighbourhood kids and cousins. What puts me over the edge is when they return home from school with gobs of Valentine’s Day stuff. Gone are the days of the simple card – mine arrive home with bags of lollies, pencils, stickers and even gift bags! Who had to go and raise the bar on this? Whoever you are – I’m officially boycotting.
If you listen closely, you can hear nursing mothers of newborns collectively moan on February 14th. You see, these new mamas do not need some contrived holiday that makes husbands feel entitled to some bedroom action. It’s one thing to have a little human hanging off your breast all day, and another entirely to have a big human thinking it’s his turn because the calendar told him so.
This year I beat the system. A mama friend recently opened an indoor playground (
http://www.antzinyourpantz.ca/) and created a “Daddy and Princess” Valentine’s event. Daddy-o and his three princesses were registered immediately and I celebrated this Valentine’s Day by removing four people from my house for an entire afternoon!
Another Valentine’s Day survived and all there’s left to show for it is the scattering of cards and wrappers around the family room floor, a few sugar highs and my cinnamon heart hang-over.
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