I was recently given an amazing opportunity from my friends at Disney Canada to attend the Disney Social Media Moms conference in Orlando. I jumped at the chance – by March, who doesn’t need to get a hit of that happy drug the Big Mouse deals out?
The added bonus was that this conference is a family getaway….well, for a family of four, anyway. Once I got a friend to agree to come along as babysitter, I was left with two kid spots.
You understand my dilemma. How does a mama of six pick her two “favourites” to bring along? One friend suggested making them audition via domestic challenges; another friend said not to bring any of them.
The thought of leaving everyone at home to be “fair” was not considered. I want my kids to understand that sometimes they get opportunities and sometimes they don’t. Often, neighbours and friends feel obligated to invite several of my kids to their child’s birthday party because they don’t want anyone to feel left out. I assure them that the uninvited kids will be just fine – they know that their turn will come. I think disappointment is not such a terrible feeling for a kid to have to deal with now and again.
Choosing which children to bring was not actually hard. I’m pretty practical when it comes to the kiddos and bringing the two biggies, ages 10 and 11, made sense for a few reasons: they would be easy for my friend to take care of, they are tall enough for every ride and, most importantly, they have the stamina to survive amusement park hours and activity without getting crabby.
Having said that, I wanted to communicate the travel plans to the other children with as little drama as possible, so this is what I told the unchosen:
“I have to go to a work conference in Florida. I am allowed to bring two children with me but they have to be 10 years of age and older. There is a chance that they may go to Disney for a day or so while we are there.”
I explained all of the fun activities I had lined up for them in my absence. The two biggies then did an exceptional job of keeping quiet about any trip plans that were in the works.
All went well until we arrived at Disney and had dinner with all of the other conference attendees and their families. My kids observed and noted that there were many children there under the age of 10 years old.
How did I explain that to them? I told them that while it is always important to be as truthful as possible, sometimes lying is appropriate. I explained that “white lies” sometimes help to cushion the truth and this was one of those situations. I trusted that they had the maturity to understand that and, indeed, they completely got it, which confirmed why they were the chosen ones. So on top of having a fabulous time on Space Mountain, at Epcot Centre and the Magic Kingdom, they learned a few life lessons.
No question, teaching kids when to lie is a tricky topic – have you had to deal with it? What has been your experience with “white lies” and your kiddos?
Pa on his last day at the farm with Oma and his 16 grandkids
Two years ago I was pregnant with my sixth baby and boarded a 15 hour flight with my five small children. I was horrified to discover that the airline had put me beside a small child traveling alone. As if I didn’t have enough kids to care for on that journey.
A few months ago, I blogged about a flight I was on with a lovely elderly gentleman who was bravely traveling with his wife who had Alzheimer’s.
Imagine my surprise when a few weeks ago I boarded a 15 hour flight with six kids only to discover who was traveling alone beside me this time: An old guy. With Alzheimer’s.
That was just the tip of the irony iceberg this holiday season.
We traveled half way across the world to spend time with my sick father-in-law. Four days after arriving, my own father died back at home. Yep, you heard that right – I leave the country and my own dad decides it’s a fine time to pop off. Between my dad’s death and my FIL’s cancer, my son mentioned that he was experiencing some unfair events in the grandpa department.
He also noted that there is one grandpa who is still fighting fit. He was referring to my 96-year-old grandpa, his great-grandpa. What is the secret to this old guy’s long life? From my observations, it would seem that the tricks to his longevity include never eating vegetables, indulging in a whopping bowl of Jell-O and ice cream every day, setting yourself up with about 400 great-grandchildren and staying married to the same woman for 75 years.
A few days ago, our overseas journey came to an end. We wearily walked through our front door, only to be greeted with a phone call informing us that my FIL had just passed away. Seems the best time to die is shortly after my family leaves the country.
Has it been a great holiday season for my family? I could come up with a few reasons to grumble, but we’ve somehow managed to take the advice of my 95-year-old grandma: life is for the living and there’s no time to be sitting around waiting for people to die. So, in spite of it all, we did some living.
As we head into 2011, I’m mourning the loss of my dad and FIL, acting as amateur grief counselor to my kiddos and thinking I may just spend a bit more time over the next year sharing bowls of Jell-O with my grandpa.
I have this friend Steve who was recently on a flight. Across the aisle was a new mama with her babe and a very elderly man, who from here on in shall be called ‘old dude’.
As the airplane was taking off, mama started breastfeeding babe. As any travelling mama knows, it’s good if you can get babe to feed on the way up and the way down to relieve any ear pain due to changing air pressure.
As she is feeding, old dude is shuffling around, mumbling under his breath, clearing his throat and basically looking uncomfortable with the breastfeeding situation that is going down beside him.
It was a short flight so before long decent had started and mama sensibly put babe back on breast. Old dude could not contain himself any longer and said “this is clearly making me uncomfortable and yet you continue to breastfeed that child.”
At that point, old dude should have been happy he was not sitting next to me. I feed anywhere, anytime and in front of anyone. If someone feels uncomfortable, they are welcome to leave. Indeed if that sentence had fallen on my ears I likely would have experienced something very close to rage.
Old dude had the good fortune of sitting beside a very gracious mama who very politely and respectfully explained why it helps baby to feed when there is change in air pressure. Old dude seemed satisfied and quite pleased that he had learned something new that day.
The plane landed and old dude was shuffling around looking for his cane and belongings when he turned and looked at my friend Steve and with a quiet smurk said:
“Huh, and to think for all these years I’ve been chewing gum”.
Kim from Prairie Mama and Lolli from Better in Bulk will be heading to BlogHer10 in New York City! Mabel’s Labels will be providing transportation, conference pass and three nights at the conference hotel. We cannot wait to see you again Kim, and are looking forward to meeting you Lolli!
Thanks again to all the amazing entries to Mabel’s Labels “Wish You Were Here” Contest. I hope everyone had as much fun as we did!
One week today and my baby is going to be here. Is it just me or has this been the fastest pregnancy known to mama-kind? Usually it is only other women’s pregnancies that go quickly. I have now officially run out of time and it looks as though, among other things, I never will get around to having those pregnancy blood tests done.
I will, however, prep the Biggies on the arrival of their new sibling. I have never actually witnessed sibling jealousy in my household, particularly with regards to a new baby. Never has a nose been out of joint over a new arrival. Perhaps my kids don’t know how it feels to have an empire come crashing down since they’ve never really experienced having an empire.
Regardless, I’m covering my bases. I like the arrival of a new baby to be the celebration it should be and whether it’s baby #1 or baby #6, there are some things that never lose their novelty. There are a few tricks I have up the sleeve as a means of avoiding the reluctant sibling:
MAKE IT THEIR EVENT: the night before baby arrives (all c-sections, so no mystery around here), the Biggies make banners announcing “It’s a Boy” and “It’s a Girl” and blow up blue and pink balloons. When the news gets to them the next morning, they have a great time decorating the front of the house with the appropriate sign and balloons. Sharing news with the neighbours ranks high in their books.
FOCUS ON THEIR NEW ROLES: When the kids come to the hospital to meet the new baby, they are all donning shirts that brag about their new status. They wear their ‘Big Brother’ and ‘Big Sister’ t-shirts with great pride.
HAVE A GENEROUS BABY: I don’t know about you, but my babies don’t arrive into this world empty handed. They suck up to the older siblings with books, dvds and craft supplies. Babies who bring prezzies are instantly popular with Biggies.
LET THEM EAT CAKE: Our first day home from hospital becomes a birthday party for new baby, with cake and all. New baby equals cake consumption – no complaints from the Biggies about that.
SPREAD THE BABY LOVE AMONG THEIR FRIENDS: Nothing makes a Biggie more proud than gloating about the new babe. We do the “show and share” rounds for the school-aged kiddos when babe is about a week old. Biggie sits at front of class holding babe while friends gather around and have the opportunity to sneeze on new infant or poke new infant’s soft spot. All that germ sharing is worth it when you see the pride in Biggie’s face.
Check back on or after April 26th for the baby news. Please keep fingers crossed – I’m hoping to prove that six c-sections is not an unreasonable demand put on any one uterus!
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