January 11th, 2011
Written by: stacey-nerdin
It’s that time of year when we hear many variations of the same question: is this the year I’ll finally keep my resolutions? Whether you make resolutions at New Years or keep a life-long bucket list or just like to daydream about the “what ifs” and “somedays,” there’s one thing that you absolutely must do if you are going to succeed at anything:
Get out of your own way.
We humans are notoriously adept at self-sabotage, and perhaps mothers even more so, since we tend to take for granted all our strengths and capabilities. We think things like: I’d love to serve in my community, but I’m not sure I have any skills that would be useful. Or: I want to go back to school, but I’m not sure if I could keep up. Or even: That would be my dream job, but I’m sure they have more qualified applicants.
We see goals we would like to achieve or dreams we would like to fulfill, and then almost immediately start imagining what might bring us just short of success. Some concerns may be practical and valid, but more often than not we allow our fears and insecurities to speak for us.
Last week on my blog, I posted a video called “My Thoughts on Being a Fat Woman at the Gym.” In it I talked about holding my head high while working out at the gym, despite the fact that I’m quite heavy and not able to do all the physical things other gym members can. The video struck a chord with a number of women who have either conquered those fears themselves, or had let themselves be controlled by them. From all the messages, comments, and emails I received around that video, one resounding message was clear: NO MORE. These women were not going to let their fears and insecurities keep them from making positive life changes and reaching personal goals.
If you have personal goals, no matter what they are, you have to take a stand and refuse to let your fears keep you from being successful. You have to abandon your worries about what others will think, how you will look, or even how things might turn out, and simply go forward. Get out of your own way, and you might be amazed at how far you can go.
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November 9th, 2010
Written by: stacey-nerdin
Me, 32 years old and a mom of 4, at my college graduation in 2005.
This week’s Mom Advice Question is a hypothetical one, yet something I hear moms talk about all the time. I’m a busy mom, the kids are young, there’s not a lot of money, and yet…I wish I could go back to school and finish my college degree. How does a mom continue with her own education? Is it even possible?
My Answer? YES.
I was in my second year of college when my husband and I met and married. Over the next thirteen years, I was in and out of school while having babies, raising them, and supporting my husband through his own studies. After my husband finished his MBA and began his career, I decided – with four kids at the time, the youngest being three years old – to make a final push and finish my BA in English.
It was NOT easy. We had to borrow more financial aid, I worked grave shift at the time (which turned out okay, since that was the only time I had to do homework), and we relied heavily on friends and family to help watch our youngest. But I did it. At 32 years old, with four kids, and a whopping 14 years after I started school, I walked in my university’s commencement ceremony, and with cum laude honors no less.
Do I tell you this to brag? Absolutely not. I tell you this because all the odds were against me, and common sense made it seem impossible. But if I had considered all the obstacles, I never would have gone for it. Instead, I kept my eye on the finish line and simply dealt with the details in between. If I could do it, you can do it.
Still doubting that going back to college is the right thing for you? I understand. There are plenty of ways for you to feed your academic mind – at home, and for free.
My favorite is Academic Earth, which offers free access to video courses and academic lectures from leading colleges and universities like Yale, Harvard, MIT, and more. You can also learn new languages at Babbel, and check out iTunes U for 350,000 free lectures, videos, films, and other resources available for download through iTunes.
In this “age of information,” continued learning and a quality education for busy moms is possible, whether you decide to go back to school or take advantage of the resources at your fingertips.
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October 21st, 2010
Written by: stacey-nerdin
I’ve been approaching this column as if others were the ones with “Mom Advice” questions for me. But frankly, I am the one who has been needing advice lately. Here’s where my head has been…
I find it ironic that this month’s quote on our family calendar is:
Nature does not rush, yet everything is accomplished. ~ Lao Tzu
That’s because everything about October screams “rush” for our family. School is in full swing, the marching band is juggling football halftimes with festival competitions, Fall soccer is going strong, band and choir are preparing for their first concerts. Then there’s still Scouts, youth group, student council, honor society, and district honors choir to “fit in.” Excuse me while I go take a nap (or pass out, whichever comes first).
Would it be possible for our family to accomplish everything without feeling rushed? What does Nature know that we don’t?
First of all, Nature is quite efficient; energy is primarily focused on filling the measure of a given organism’s creation. One flower is not concerned with being prettier than another or taller than another or producing more pollen than another. It’s merely concerned with extracting enough material from it’s environment to grow into the best, strongest flower it can be.
Secondly, Nature is adept at filling its reserves. Bears hibernate, squirrels gather nuts, birds fly south for the winter. Nature sure knows how to use its “down time.”
Maybe what our family can learn from Nature is to re-evaluate our activities. Is everything we are doing leading to greater growth? Or are we just trying to keep up with everyone else? Are we taking those “in-between” moments – whether they be in the car or on the sidelines or during a hurried dinner at the table – and are we using them to re-connect and fill our reserves?
Another great quote gives me insight into our family’s rush, rush, rush:
There is more to life than increasing its speed. ~ Mahatma Ghandi
Yes, yes there is.
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August 6th, 2010
Written by: Caitlin Madden
Most mornings start with me on the computer, in my jammies, sitting at a very sticky dining room table with an empty cup of milk to my left and a half-eaten banana to my right. Those are the usual leftovers from my toddler’s morning routine, which also includes requesting six different movies in the space of five minutes and repeatedly tackling the puppy in the same amount of time. My breakfast break will come later, after the writing, dishes, cleaning, dressing, playing, soothing, and re-cleaning are done. Which is usually right about lunchtime.
Welcome to my home, and to my life! My name is Stacey Nerdin, and as the winner of the Mabel’s Labels BlogHer ’10 Contest, I will have the great pleasure of sharing my thoughts, sometimes hectic life, and lessons learned with readers here at The Mabelhood for the next 12 months. That in addition to being able to attend BlogHer with the Mabel’s crew in NYC this weekend! I’ll be sure to come back next week and tell you of the fun we’ve had (and oh yeah, the things we’ve learned).
I’m currently a stay-at-home mom of five: three daughters (16, 13, 12) and two sons (9 and not-quite-3). My husband and I began our family in Oregon, but are now living in the Houston metro area because of an awesome job opportunity and the foolish thought that we’d get used to the humidity. I’ve been blogging for nearly five years and enjoy every aspect of it – the writing, the connecting, the meeting, the growing, the learning – all of it! My blog is called Tree, Root, and Twig, where I write about family, faith, learning, and life; my philosophy is that “everything’s connected.”
I look forward to sharing an enlightening year with you here at The Mabelhood!
Keep an eye out for more posts from Stacey here at the mabelhood, happening weekly!
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