I just received an e-newsletter from a pregnancy website that I didn’t sign up for. My subscription could be the result of one of my hilarious Mabel’s Labels co-workers thinking I should be following this pregnancy of mine a little more closely.
My first e-newsletter arrived congratulating me for being 30 weeks pregnant. I did the math which confirmed that the website knows more about my pregnancy than I do. It went on to tell me how I should be feeling – which is bad. Each day should now be greeted lethargically. Varicose veins should be plaguing me, along with the inability to sleep and the constant urge to urinate. This coming week I’m told to look forward to stretch marks, and the word “gassy” came up on several occasions.
And here I’ve been going along feeling great and largely forgetting that I’m actually brewing a baby. Time to start pulling rank, I say. I’m going to commit to some waddling and maybe groan when I go from the sitting to standing position. Hey, I’m 30 weeks pregnant so fully entitled – my new e-newsletter told me so. Take that Mabel gals and see how much fun I am to work with now. That little e-newsletter thing really backfired!
My e-newsletter also informed me that my baby is now the size of a squash, which erupted controversy among the other 30-week e-newsletter subscribers. There were no less than 47 comments from the moms-to-be expressing passionately either for or against the baby/squash comparison. With so many opinions on the topic, I was left thinking that this was a case of hormones gone wild. I tried to have an opinion, but nothing happened. Does this mean I don’t care as much as they do about my squash….er…..I mean, my baby?
The next part is what really freaked me out. It provided me with a link to my personalized pregnancy to-do list. It looked like this:
Number of items on to-do list: 78
Number of items completed on to-do list: zero
Yes, apparently I have 78 things left to do before I have this baby. I can’t even bring myself to open the link to my list. As someone who is now 10 weeks late for her first obstetrician appointment, I can’t start stressing about pulling out my little sleepers from bins in the basement and whitening my whites.
Mamas have about nine months to prep for baby. While there may be about 75 things left on my official ‘to-do’ list on the day this baby arrives, I have a feeling we’ll somehow muddle through it.
**The pic is of me 38 weeks pregnant with some other baby…..probably thinking it would be my last pregnancy so got the photo done!
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I quite accidentally had my 20-week ultrasound this week. Because I am overseas at the moment, I was just going to give the whole thing a miss. Minor complication came up so the Doc ended up sending me for an ultrasound here. All is well and I enjoyed what will likely be the last ultrasound in the career of this tired uterus.
The ultrasound tech was keen to know if I wanted to know the gender of the baby.
My answer was as it always is: a definite NO. The ultrasound tech nearly hit the floor because she said that 99% of women in my situation are anxious to know. She hit the floor a second time when I asked her to write down the gender and put it in an envelope for me to hand deliver to my MIL. Apparently, that was a first for her.
I never find out the gender, but always allow my elder women folk to know. Nan and Oma are very tight-lipped and have never blown the surprise for me. I’ve also noticed they are more likely to engage in a bit of pre-birth grandmotherly shopping if they have the required info, which is always a good thing.
I don’t find out because feel like there are just too few surprises in life. As a c-section mama, I’ll know the birth date and having done this five times already, I know the baby will be just below or just above 7lbs. I even know what it will look like. If immediately after birth the baby was thrown into a nursery with fifty other newborns, I’d be able to pick mine out in an instant. So, there’s not a lot of mystery involved.
In addition, I really just don’t care what I’m having. I’ve got plenty of both but even if I had a single gendered family, I doubt I would be too invested in the gender. My SIL thinks that everyone secretly wishes for a specific gender and asked me to dig deep and tell her what I really wanted. I mentioned that a boy would be good for bedroom sharing reasons. Then I said that a girl would be good because there would be less worry about autism. I suggested I might have a better idea later in the pregnancy based on whether I’m happier with my girl or boy name choice. My SIL clarified that those reasons don’t count – the answer had to come from just a secret desire based on no practicalities. As such, she’s still waiting for my answer and I really don’t think I’ll be able to come up with one.
Another reason for not finding out is that I absolutely hate having the c-section. Lying on the table with the awareness that my guts are wide open really does my head in. Being able to look forward to the gender surprise is a good focus point for me while I’m freaking out about the actual c-section procedure.
I know it sounds cliche, but for many mamas like me who have experienced having a child with health or developmental issues, my true desire has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with health. I don’t feel like I’m in a position to get too much fussier than that.
* that is not a doll in Posy’s arms, but the baby who is soon to be de-throned.
**HUGE thanks for the support from all of you. The Mabelhood won best family blog in the Canadian Blog Awards!! THANKS!!!!
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I like to say I’m making the world a more beautiful place, one baby at a time.
Reading through the lines, what I’m really saying is yep, baby #6 is on the way. I think I’m about 16 or 17 weeks along, but that is the kind of minor detail that gets forgotten at this point in the pregnancy game. Long gone are the days of being in awe of your ever changing body and knowing things like when the baby gets eyelashes and fingernails.
For me, these pregnancy days pass much like any others really. Sure, I was tired and seedy for a while, but no one seems to take much notice. Indeed, I didn’t have time to take much notice either. I remember my first pregnancy – coming home at the end of the day and having a little snooze on the couch as daddy-o prepped dinner. By #6 you come home from the office, feed five little people, dress them for hockey or ballet, pack up school lunches, help with homework, read to the little ones and put the lot of them to bed. My lifestyle is identical to what it was pre-pregnancy. I may notice one little lifestyle adjustment this holiday season when I have to pass on the egg nog. As I like to say, from here on in I’m eating for two, and daddy-o is drinking for three!
Reactions to my pregnancy news are generally luke-warm at best. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard the phrase “are you crazy??” over the last few weeks, I’d be a very wealthy woman. I actually keep a top ten list of inappropriate responses I’ve received in my history of pregnancies. The former top spot went to a response I got to my third pregnancy which was: “I thought you were smarter than that”. The new top ranking position goes to a recent: “oh my god, are you going to keep it??”
Uh yeah, I was considering it.
So while the pregnancy bit gets a tad boring after a while, the part about having a new baby in the house never loses its charm with this mama. I’m just off the phone with my glowing cousin, Ariel-Ann who became a mama for the first time just a few days ago (OK, check out her baby Issac in the pic. I know….he makes you want another one too, right?)
It ignited that old feeling of baby excitement. As such, I’ve now formulated my new comeback to the bad reactions. It has formally been a sarcastic “I’m going to keep having them until I have one I like”. From here on in I’m going to say that with the fabulous and beautiful humans I create, it is only fair to give the world just one more.
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