I love the holidays.  The whole of December is one big party that tapers slowly between Christmas and New Years.  Then, with any luck, we can get the kids tucked away in bed right around the time our English cousins are ringing in the New Year and collapse in front of a movie or two, until Auld Lang Syne reassures us that life is about to return to normal.  Adventurous? Notsomuch.

I’m a big believer in routine.  The holidays definitely throw our schedule for a loop and it always gets me wondering, “Do I wish I had those kids that go with the flow and are happy to pass out on a friend’s sofa somewhere around 10pm?” While I don’t mind throwing caution to the wind for special occasions, the answer is still “No.”  Sure we might have to excuse ourselves from Thanksgiving dinner before the meltdowns start, and we miss the entertaining conversation that springs from Aunt Jane having one glass too many, but I like our routine.  We roll with it when we can, but if we have to call it a night at 7, I know there are at least 340 days of the year when I’m glad the kids have a predictable schedule.

Nanny Carrie’s Tips
1) If your schedule is all over the map, start with one or two routines and work the rest of your day around it.  (ie. Bathtime always starts at 7pm.  Or, always plan to be home for afternoon naps.)
2) Expect the unexpected.  Throw some jammies in the car for family gatherings that run later than planned.  That way you can get everybody ready for bed before the long drive home and save a battle with overtired little ones.  (Don’t forget the nighttime diapers for bedwetters!  Disassembling wet carseats for washing in the dead of winter is not fun.)
3) Late dinner at a restaurant?  Pack a lunch bag with some healthy snacks for the kids to eat while you wait for your order.  (Hint: This is a great time to break out the fruits and veggies that they’re more likely to eat when they’re bored and starving.  Then you can cross mama-guilt off your list when the rest of their dinner consists of french fries and ice cream sundaes!)

Do you prefer a structured day, or a more flexible schedule?  What works best for you?

My Child has developed a fear of the dark and worrying about monsters.  How can I help him get over these fears?

This is a tricky one!  It can be hard to tell where some of these fears come from, and you never know which child is going to be scared of which fairytale character.  I’m actually a little surprised that more kids aren’t terrified at the prospect of a strange man in red coming into the house through the chimney in the middle of the night!

There is no guarantee that you will be able to eliminate night time fears entirely.  After all, most of us adults still get a little anxious when things go bump in the night.  It might be tempting to create ‘monster spray’ for your child’s room, or to let the family dog sleep nearby to ward off scary night time creatures, but this just confirms for your child that you believe there is something to be afraid of.  Acknowledge their anxieties, but make sure your child understands that you do not believe there is anything to be worried about.

Nanny Carrie’s Tip:  Comfort objects are okay—in fact they’re a great idea.  Encourage him to find something that soothes him and don’t worry too much right how about him taking his ‘blankie’ to Frosh Week.  CD players, noise machines and teddy bears can all help to quell night time anxieties.   If you can, find something that is portable if the kiddos are staying at Grandma’s, and make sure you have a back-up for lost ‘loveys’ (and take it from me, don’t get caught at 3:00am without a stash of replacement bulbs for the nightlight!)

I’m having a hard time making mealtimes into quality family time.  If I’m not rushing one out to sports lessons, I’m battling with the other about why we can’t eat peanut butter and jelly every night for dinner.  How can we make dinner a more pleasant experience?

Whether you’re emptying the dishwasher, feeding the baby, or packing hockey bags, it can be hard to get the family sitting down for a nice chat at the dinner table.  Throw in a couple of picky eaters who don’t like your lasagna, and dinner time can start to look more like a three ring circus.

Condense your quality time: I think we all get a bit stressed at the prospect of having to fit 7 relaxed family mealtimes into the week along with extra-curricular activities, healthy menus, and quality conversation.  If you’re finding this glowing image of family dining is being replaced with “Finish your meatloaf! Ballet started 10 minutes ago!” Don’t despair.  Focus on quality over quantity.  Start with Friday night pizza (even better if the kids help to make it!) and Sunday morning pancakes to sit down and enjoy each other’s company without the pressure of the time crunch and finicky eaters.

Sneak in the healthy stuff: The “vegetable bin” is a must around here.  Keep veggies and fruits (cantaloupe, pineapple, and others that can be prepped in advance) cut up and stored in a plastic container in the fridge.  If it can be tossed out on the counter for snacking during the afternoon, you can skip the battle over brussel sprouts when dinner time rolls around and keep mealtimes more positive.

Nanny Carrie’s Tip: Add some spice to the conversation.  The old “How was your day?” tends to get a pretty lacklustre response.  So get creative (and steer clear of any questions that can be answered with “Fine” or “Nothing.”)  Try:

-“Who is the funniest person you know?”

-“If you could be any book character, who would you choose?”

Got a good family conversation starter?  Share it here!

I’m wondering what kinds of things I can do with my 4-month-old?  Now that we’re moving past the stage where she’s sleeping all the time, I’m looking for some suggestions for how to entertain her.

The early days with an infant can be so hectic, when a quiet moment rolls around, it can be tough to know how to use it!  When they’re too young to build block towers and have tea parties you still want to engage them—yet it feels like you’ve played “peek-a-boo” a hundred times this week already!

Keep talking:  If you need to get things done around the house, talk to your baby about what you’re doing.  Whether you’re folding laundry or making dinner, (“blue socks,” “two onions”) the beauty of their fresh little minds is that everything is a learning experience.

Little routines: Every day doesn’t have to include an elaborate circle time and music lesson.  Make a habit of singing nursery rhymes during diaper changes and reading books before bed.  For moms and dads who work outside the home, tell baby about your day at the office.  Years from now, when the teen years hit, you’ll look back with nostalgia on your little pyjama-clad captive audience!

Nanny Carrie’s Tip: Pack away the board books and kiddie series for later and opt for a few pages of your favourite books each day instead.  Your little one will just enjoy listening to you, and you get to take a stroll down memory lane with your own childhood classics (or work your way through the bestseller list!).

My 6-year-old has started giving me attitude. The back talk and eye rolling is driving me nuts. I thought I wouldn’t have to deal with this until the teen years! What can I do to discourage it?

You spend months waiting for that precious first word…and even with the first few sassy comments from your toddler you’re still marvelling at her ingenuity. But fast forward five years and suddenly she’s getting all too comfortable with the cheeky talk! Now it’s time to re-establish ground rules for respect.

Model: You may not think the kids are paying attention to the boring adult conversation going on around them, but their little ears are always open. When the kiddies are in the room (or eavesdropping at the top of the stairs!) make a conscious effort to speak to, and about, other adults with courtesy. More importantly, be respectful when talking to your child. Aside from helping to strengthen your relationship, it also teaches them that the rules apply to everybody.

Teach them to know their audience: Little boys are going to giggle about toilet talk, and teens are probably going to drop the odd curse word, but be firm in establishing that the way we talk to our peers is not the same way we talk to our ‘elders.’ It sounds a bit stuffy and formal, but even as adults we all have certain friends/family members for whom we bring out our best behaviour.

Nanny Carrie’s Tip: Charity begins at home right? Maybe not. If you’ve been busting yourself to try and set the right example and discourage sassy talk to what seems like no avail, don’t despair. Find out how things are going when they’re away from you. If they are able to pull out nice manners when they go to a friend’s for dinner, with grandparents, at school, then you’re probably on the right track.