As a mother, I’ve come to realize, with each passing year, that I rely more on my children’s sense of magic and wonder at the holidays and feel further removed from my own.  Something tells me I’m not alone in this.

No matter what holiday you celebrate at this time of the year, it’s easy to get caught up in Big, Important Adult Worries.  Often it has to do with a shortage of time and an abundance of people you hope to make happy.  

In 1965, a favorite author of mine – humorist Erma Bombeck – wrote a column entitled Where Did Christmas Go? Because my family celebrates Christmas, I found this column especially relevant, though I believe the sentiment can be applied to all holidays celebrated at this time of year.  Here are some excerpts:

There is nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

Not to feel the cold on your bare feet as you rush to the Christmas tree in the living room. Not to have your eyes sparkle at the wonderment of discovery. Not to rip the ribbons off the shiny boxes with such abandon.  What happened?

When did the cold, bare feet give way to reason and a pair of sensible bedroom slippers? When did the sparkle and the wonderment give way to depression of a long day? When did a box with a shiny ribbon mean an item on the “charge?”

A child of Christmas doesn’t have to be a toddler or a teen. A child of Christmas is anyone who believes that Kings have birthdays.

[...]

Children of Christmas are givers. That’s what the day is for. They give thanks, love, gratitude, joy and themselves to one another.

It doesn’t necessarily mean you have to have children around a tree. It’s rather like lighting a candle you’ve been saving, caroling when your feet are cold, building a fire in a clean grate, grinding tinsel deep into the rug, licking frosting off a beater, giving something you made yourself.

It’s laughter, being with people you like, and at some time falling to your knees and saying, “Thank You for coming to my birthday party.”

Aren’t all the Winter holidays we celebrate meant to be a time for us to “give thanks, love, gratitude, joy, and [ourselves] to one another?”  And aren’t we ALL meant to have “[our] eyes sparkle at the wonderment of discovery?”  This time of year – the magic, the wonder, the peace – is for us moms to enjoy as much as our children.  We just need to remember that, and give ourselves permission to reach out and embrace it.

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When I was about six years old, my parents went to Ireland for three weeks. My aunt and uncle stepped up to the plate – they were a lot younger than my parents and a heck of a lot more fun. One night they let us stay up way past bedtime and watch “Invasion of the Body Snatchers”.

When my parents returned, they seemed very different. They brought us presents and allowed us access to unlimited portions of Irish chocolate. The change in them was so peculiar, it was clear in my mind that they had become victims of body snatching while on holiday. You see, my real parents would never shower us with gifts. Alien invasion was the only reasonable conclusion.

It is for similar reasons that my big kids still believe in Santa. Santa brings them stuff they know I would never buy. It is easy to believe in Santa when you are being raised by a mother who is both mean and cheap. The idea that I would actually buy toys and other nonsense is so outrageous to them that logic dictates Santa must be responsible for such kindness.

The part of me that wants to spoil them rotten and see those little faces light up loves that Santa exists. There are many things I won’t buy them because I don’t like the brand, messaging, batteries, etc. Explaining why I don’t like those products is a valuable teaching opportunity. Being Santa allows me to indulge them with something they want without having it come from Mom.

But this year I have a new dilemma. My eleven-year-old son truly believes in Santa. He also believes in the Tooth Fairy. He is not faking it or desperately/sentimentally trying to hold on to the magic. He believes in Santa because he has autism. Some things are taken very literally, and the Santa thing has played out like this:

- Mom says there is a Santa and Tooth Fairy
- Mom does not lie to me
- Therefore, there is a Santa and Tooth Fairy

I’m happy he believes for his younger siblings, but I’m breaking a sweat imagining him standing around with his buddies at recess, defending the existence of the Tooth Fairy to a bunch of Gr. 6 boys.

So, I think this is the year I have to sit him down and tell him that I’ve been lying to him for eleven years. Then ask him to keep the lie alive for his brothers and sisters. Then hope he doesn’t think I’m lying about everything else.

Advice welcomed.

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So the holidays are approaching and we all have that daunting task of buying stuff our kids won’t use all in the name of giving them something to unwrap on that insane morning. Being a Mabel momma, I’ve already exhausted all the mabel gifts….they have mabels, they have the Write On! stationery kits, they even have the cute gift tags. This leaves me with the job of finding other stuff that they will use and that I actually want them to have.

Then there is the issue of what they are asking for. I was horrified when my six year old daughter wrote her list to the big red guy. On it: a laptop, an ipod, and a pet dog! I reminded her that in her next life, she may get a nice mother, but as long as she has me, I’ll be advising Santa that none of those are appropriate this year. I suppose an ipod is not so bad, but I just don’t want to go there yet. I’m quite happy not having to hear about High School Musical and Hannah Montana for the moment. I know my days of Treehouse TV and Wiggles CDs are numbered…..

Also, what happens when the bigger kids stop believing and you have to get them to keep it quiet so that the little ones can live the lie for at least a few years? Luckily, mine are still all believers but I have a pretty good sense this is my last year in fantasy land.

Speaking of fantasy land, we have had tremendous fun with this….go to elfyourself.com and insert your kids faces on these dancing elves. Fun for the kids to do and fun for your friends who get it in their inboxes!

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