November 29th, 2009
Written by: Julie Cole
Within the last month, three of my six kids have had birthdays. It’s a very lean month in our household – topping up RESPs along with throwing a few birthday parties can take its toll on anyone’s budget.
In addition to not liking birthdays’ financial implications, I think birthday parties are a royal pain. I know many party mamas out there who relish in planning extravagant events, particularly their children’s parties. Indeed, I have one friend who says one of the things she loves most about being a mother is throwing birthday parties. That mama is not me. Birthday parties make the bottom of my list of things I love about being a mama. Yes, I like my kids to have fun and enjoy their special day, but all the hoopla around it doesn’t float my boat.
So when I throw a party, it’s all about keeping it simple. I thought it would be fun to compare some of my tips and strategies with those of my friend, Janine who is mama party planner extraordinaire. In September, she is well in planning mode for a January birthday. All the neighbourhood kids have fingers crossed that their name makes the list. In short, Janine generally makes me look like a complete slacker.
The rules according to me, the “Keep It Simple Mom”:
- Have a no birthday present policy.
- Have a no loot bag policy.
- Plan your parties at a time that will ensure you do not have to prepare a meal for little guests.
- Don’t over-engineer the thing – kids are old pros at figuring out how to have fun.
- Sure have a theme, but don’t bother obsessing. You don’t want to have to drive around to 10 different stores just to get the napkins that match the plates.
- Don’t have it in your house. Way too much cleaning is involved then – you’ll end up cleaning before AND after the party.
The rules according to Janine, “Keener Perfectionist Mom”:
- EVERYTHING needs to be matchy matchy – pick a theme and colour scheme and stick with it: invitations, decorations, balloons, utensils, EVERYTHING!
- Make it an event – seal invitations with a stamp monogram and mail them because kids love getting mail.
- Don’t scrimp on the cake – if nothing else is done right, be sure that you have a fabulous cake (which of course corresponds to the party theme!)
- Mind your present etiquette. If opening at party, tape a half circle in front of birthday child, have 2 chairs (one for birthday child, one for gift giver). Read card together and open gift. Take a picture of birthday child with gift and gift giver and send as a “thank you” after the party.
Janine also agrees that the birthday present thing can get a bit much and suggests donations in lieu of gifts, and also checking out www.echoage.com
There you have it – what kind of party planner are you? Apply the rules that most suit you and I’m pretty sure your kid will have a great party that even mama will enjoy.
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September 14th, 2008
Written by: Julie Cole
I recently had someone ask if I had any birthday party activity suggestions. Just thinking about that question exhausted me. In the last eight years I have had countless birthday parties. Actually, it’s not countless – just adding up my children’s ages tells me that by the end of next month I will have hosted 26 of the stinkin’ things.
I have self-diagnosed my condition: birthday party fatigue.
We’ve done them all – bowling, indoor playgrounds, parks, magicians, reptile guys, musical chairs, and the list goes on. Any way you slice it, at this point in my birthday party throwing career, the novelty has long worn off. In fact, I’m not sure it was ever there to begin with.
The problem remains that while I’m a good mama and very comfortable in that role, I don’t quite make the grade in the domestic arena. I don’t think there is a connection between being a good parent and being a domestic diva. Sure, you need to have the basics down and I generally do – my kids have clean clothes, regular baths and full bellies. Anything beyond that is gravy and has no place in any job description of mine.
This can help you appreciate that five birthday parties a year is a big ask for someone who is not hospitable (in the traditional sense) and does not bake cakes. When people walk through my front door, they are greeted with a request to dash into the kitchen and pop the kettle on. Guests who arrive early are given actual chores. Don’t get me wrong, I love having visitors and we have an open door policy around here. People always feel comfortable dropping in because they know that I won’t feel stress about what they walk into. I’m just not in a position to care what people think about the state of my house. I’ve got bigger problems and at this point, I would consider such worries to be a luxury.
As a weathered birthday party throwing mama, I have learned that it is best to simplify the festivities. Guests are instructed not to bring presents and in return I do not give them loot bags. My theory is: no landfill and fewer sugar bugs on teeth. I often chuck a little something at the kiddos by the door as a way to notify them that their time is up and as a means of avoiding departing tears. As I deliver the little something, a sensitive microphone might be able to pick up what I am muttering under my breath: “don’t hit yourself with the door on the way out”. And you can guarantee that any birthday party I throw takes place during the 2:00pm – 4:00pm time slot which gets me off the hook for having to provide a proper meal. Get some cake into their gobs, and my work is done!
With risk of sounding like I’m about to do some celebrity name dropping, I’m giving the disclaimer that what I’m about to say is relevant to this topic. So, I’m on the phone a couple of weeks ago with Reese Witherspoon’s Personal Assistant. She wanted some Mabels products to go in the loot bags for Ava’s 26 little birthday party guests.
It occurred to me that I’ve been doing this all wrong. All I have to do is get myself a PA and give out loot bags that resemble Celebrity Swag Bags. That might just be the cure to my birthday party fatigue.
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