I remember the yard sale in which we got rid of the stroller. It was sitting in a corner of the garage and I told the hubby we could go ahead and get rid of it. I hadn’t used it in months and we knew we were on the last kid. It was kind of liberating getting rid of the big baby toys.

It’s funny to see such a small person have such big toys and as they grow older the stuff gets smaller, like Lego’s and Barbie shoes for instance. We are constantly changing our organizing systems to go with the life changes. The boys don’t really play with anything but Lego’s anymore and my daughter, well she is becoming her own individual creature of habit instead of following the boys.

One day the Barbie shoes and clothes will be traded in with big girl clothes and shoes, makeup, and real jewelry rather than plastic beads. The boys might trade in the Lego’s for other boy stuff… not really sure what that is yet. I wasn’t a boy so I have no idea. I have a feeling whatever it is could possibly be gross, crawl and/or stink in which I will start closing their bedroom doors but I see change coming in the near future whatever it may be.

As parents we have to be adaptable to our children’s organizing needs so the stuff doesn’t run the house. These little people cause a constant ebb and flow of stuff as soon as they enter the world., some good and annoying (anyone ever stepped on a Lego in the middle of the night?)

What has been your favorite organizing stage? Was there a particular time you just seemed to “get it” and others not so much? What has been the hardest age, toy, etc. to organize?

So I managed to do my ankle in, which landed me in an Aircast and crutches. I know what you’re thinking and for the record, I was not walking and texting. In fact, I was attempting to walk and talk at the VERY same time and managed to go over on my ankle. It’s a good thing I wasn’t chewing gum or I may have ended up in a full body cast.

Clearly this cast/crutches thing is not an ideal situation for a multi-tasking mama. To further complicate the matter, Daddy-o was out of town for the week and the affected ankle was attached to my driving foot. The already difficult task of getting various children to various activities at the same time reached a whole new level of crazy.

It was an interesting experience for me, and this is what being on crutches taught me:

- My friends who deal with real-life chronic pain, illness or disability – I know you find it annoying and even a little condescending when people tell you how amazing and brave you are, but yeah, that. I am not amazing or brave – mostly just whiney.

- Six-year-olds can pack their own school lunches and will include fruits and vegetables. They will also feel proud. Kids step up when they need to.

- Crutches take the focus off a sore ankle by causing excruciating pain to your armpits. Did the people who made the crutches plan it that way? Is it some twisted method of trying to distract from pain by creating new pain?

- Not being able to drive was like a forced holiday. I contemplated prolonging the appearance of injury, but convenience and reality won out.

- There are friends and family members who are extremely helpful. But when help is offered, I must be clear with instructions. I should specifically say, for example, that “picking up bread” means a minimum of three loaves in a family of our size. That one loaf that was dropped off lasted 20 minutes.

The top lesson, of course, is to watch where I’m going. Curbs have a way of jumping out at you when you least expect it. Have you had an injury or illness that has caused temporary disruption to family life? How did everyone manage?

I do love looking back at old photos with the kids even if it is in the format of a slideshow on the TV. I would love to add our old photos to the mix as well. The one thing holding me back is the time and/or cost. I’m not thrilled about the idea of scanning each individual photo. It sounds much better to box them up, ship them off and pay someone else to take care of the daunting task. However it could cost a few hundred dollars never placing it high on the priority list.

My husband and I have gotten in the habit of getting each other “organizing’ type items for the house for birthdays or Christmas so maybe this will have to go on the list.

How many old photos do you think you have stored away? Do you find them getting overlooked when going down memory lane? Have you used a photo scanning service and how did you like it?

The photo above happens to be my all time favorite…my grandparents.

Soccer sign ups are around the corner for us and I have been slightly dreading the crazy nighttime rituals when sports/activities are involved.

I am thinking about something new for my daughter to do. She tried soccer and dance but she wasn’t really excited about either.  Last week we decided to go to the indoor rock-climbing wall.  And everyone loved it!

So now I am thinking one family activity may be the way to go. It builds strength, keeps them active and they can compete a little against each other which definitely motivates them.  With three kids it cuts back on costs and can be an all year activity.

Have any of you thought about giving up multiple activities and traded them in for one family activity? It would surely cut back on the stressful evenings as well! What kind of family friendly activities can you think of?

My "Number One Son" with his life-long buddy. They met at "Moms group" when they were a couple of weeks old.

Twelve years ago I gave birth to my first beautiful baby. When he was a few weeks old, I was invited by a local midwife to a neighbourhood centre to meet other women who had also just had their first babies. It was my introduction to the “moms group”.

Moms groups get mixed reviews. Some say that having a same-aged child in common is not enough to form a social relationship. Others report that these organizations are a breeding ground for competitiveness – whose kid is rolling over, who toilet trained first, which mom has already lost the baby weight…Sometimes people have different expectations around what the group will provide for them.

These are only things I have heard. From that first moms group and through the following years I’ve spent completely immersed in the mama community, I have never experienced these things. Instead, I have been supported by other moms who want nothing but my kids to flourish and succeed. They have been my cheerleaders, friends, confidants, reliable advice-givers and opinion sharers. We have laughed and cried together, us mamas.

There is one less mama to laugh and cry with now. One of the beautiful and talented mamas I met in my very first moms group passed away on Christmas Eve. I still picture her as I saw her that very first time – sitting peacefully at the neighbourhood centre before our first meeting, nursing her beautiful daughter, Harper, with a look of love and adoration in her eyes.

You share something special with the mamas you have travelled the whole journey with – those in that first moms group. These are the people you filled the days with – walking the neighbourhood together with your strollers, chatting as you pushed toddlers on the swing at the park, taking care of each other’s kids when a sibling arrived. For over a decade we have watched each other’s children transform from newborns to pre-teens.

Of course, I can’t stop thinking about my friend’s now motherless children and what that will mean for the rest of their lives, but this passing has been a reminder to me of how special our mama relationships are. I am thankful that she was a part of my amazing introduction to the mama community, a community that will never be the same without her.

Her loss also made me think about moms groups and the very different experiences we all have. What does “moms group” mean to you? What was your experience?

I had a friend share her TV watching line up with me recently and she had quite a routine with can’t miss shows.  In the same conversation we talked about how overwhelmed she is with her job responsibilities. She can’t seem to get it all done.

The problem: She is doing work while watching TV. She is a stay at home/work at home mom. When the kids go to bed she needs to work but at the same time she doesn’t want to miss her shows.

The solution: Prioritize and track your time. We want our “me” time but more and more moms have work responsibilities at home now.  We have to find that even mix. I told my friend to first track her time for the week in 15 minute increments. EVERYTHING she does for one week, honestly! We often don’t see how much time we are focusing on TV/internet/whatever and letting other things slip through the cracks.

My friend realized that if she chose two nights to dedicate to uninterrupted work she was more focused and got more done than if she had scattered it out every night while watching TV.

So I dare everyone to track your time for a week and see what is slowly eating away at your days and causing frustration.  Prioritize what MUST be done while keeping some adequate me time!

Have you ever taken a step back and gotten a bird’s eye view of your home? This will certainly give you the motivation needed to get the ball rolling on an organizing project. Stop what you are doing and go take a picture of a random room in your home. What do you see??

Often we get so busy in our day-to-day lives that we don’t allow ourselves to see the big picture. We can easily let the clutter fade to the background as we go about our day. Once we get to the point of overwhelm we finally take notice.

If you are getting organized this year start by taking a picture of each space and taking note of those problem spots that stick out. The picture allows you to disassociate yourself from the space and for a moment you can pretend it is someone else’s clutter!

Are you taking on a big organizing project in 2012? Where will you start?

Good big brothers don't expose the Santa lie to little brothers.

I spoke last year about the difficulty of outing Santa to my son. He was at an age that most kids no longer believed, so he needed to know – I didn’t want his ‘believing’ to potentially embarrass him among his peers.
I took the opportunity to spill the beans about Santa to him last June. The timing was good since absolutely no one was talking about Mr. Claus. My son was shocked, but generally it went over well. I positioned it in a way that he felt a part of the inner circle of maturity – he now had the responsibility not to ruin it for his younger siblings. He was on the same team as us parents, and it seemed to have some legs.

Not long after that, my 10-year-old daughter came downstairs one morning in tears. Apparently that slacker of a Tooth Fairy had forgotten to visit for the third night in a row. I guided her into the mud room, shut the door and said: “OK listen, I’m the Tooth Fairy and I suck at it, so (reaching into my pocket) here’s five bucks. You’re getting a couple of bucks extra as hush money”. She started laughing hysterically and asked who else was in on it. I said her big brother knew so she sought him out for a quiet meeting for those “in the know”. Big brother assumed she knew about all of the parental lies so blew the Santa secret. No great surprise for her – she admitted to having some suspicions on the Santa front.

Now that the holiday season is upon us, my son said to me last week “Mom, I’m really mad at you for telling me about Santa, but thanking you since no other kids my age believe in him. But, it’s still OK for me to believe in the Christmas spirit, right?” Yes son, permission granted.

And so, I have four believers in the big guy left and suspect by this time next year I’ll be down to three. The good news is, the two biggies are a great help. I can take them shopping and not worry about buying presents for the other kids. Also, they are in charge of relocating that ridiculous Elf on a Shelf every day. If you think I’m a bad Tooth Fairy, that’s nothing compared to when I had Elf-moving duties. Let’s just say we had the laziest Elf in town – and that’s exactly what I’d tell the kids.

Do you have a houseful of believers?

Take a piece of paper out and write down one business and personal goal you want to reach in the next year. Over the next few weeks start making a list of all the little tasks that need to be done to fulfill that goal. When the new year rolls around start implementing a few of those tasks each week until you reach your goal.

Plan out your week ahead of time to see how these new tasks can fit in. Be aware of this procrastination pitfall: As your list starts getting marked off you may see there are a few tasks you keep skipping over because you just flat out don’t like to do that activity or it is not a strength of yours. Instead of avoiding it all together, ask yourself if the task is necessary to get the job done, if so can it be delegated? As mom’s we tend to see ourselves as a “one woman show” when in reality we have a multitude of friends that would be willing to share a specific skill set. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Break your goals into manageable bite sized tasks while keeping the big picture in mind! If you are connecting the dots, which dot is next in order to get the picture to look right?

It's a sad day when you sit your kids down to warn them about being too trusting of coaches and mentors.

Last weekend, the whole family was in the truck and Daddy-o needed to dash into a shop. The rest of us waited in the vehicle, talking about capital cities. By the time he returned, we were in a big conversation about Penn State. He shot me the “How the heck did that happen?” look. As it turned out, the conversation went in a direction that provided an opportunity for this discussion. Besides, I had the undivided attention of all of them and had to take advantage of that.

I tried to explain the situation in simple terms – it was discovered that a trusted and loved coach was touching children in their private areas over many, many years. The point of the discussion was three fold; it was a chance to:

- remind them that people we love and trust can hurt us;
- once again say if an adult ever tells them to keep a secret from me, unless it has to do with a gift, it’s a red flag. Adults don’t ask children to keep secrets from their parents;
- re-state that no one is ever allowed to touch them or make them touch. If there is touching of any kind that makes them uncomfortable, they are encouraged to speak up and self-advocate, knowing that they will be supported by their family.

Then came the question period, and boy, did they ever do a good job of it. Three questions were particularly difficult and I was completely unprepared for them. I fielded them with honesty and think it went as well as it could.

Question #1:
Why would a grown-up WANT to touch a child like that?
(Insert my sad explanation about creepy pedophiles and the things they will do to “groom” a child).

Question #2:
What if the kid didn’t tell the coach to stop? What if the coach didn’t know the kid didn’t want to be touched?
(Insert my explanation that adults KNOW it’s wrong. Even when kids don’t speak up, adults know it’s against the law).

Question #3:
What if the coach didn’t actually “hurt” the child?
(Insert my explanation of different kinds of abuse, and how the ones that don’t physically hurt can be just as/even more damaging).

How did you deal with Penn State? Did you use it as an opportunity to speak with your kids about the hard stuff, or was it just too difficult to go there?