A couple of weeks ago, my bad-breathing baby landed us in the Trauma Room in the Emergency at our local hospital. On about his fifth Ventolin treatment, a woman was brought into the bed beside us.
The woman was explaining her symptoms as they were going through triage a few feet away from us. Now, I’ve only seen ER twice and maybe half an episode of Grey’s, but it was pretty darn clear to Dr. Mama that this woman was about to have a massive heart attack. During the chit-chat, I learned that her two young daughters had brought her in and were waiting in the lobby. I also learned that she was 50 years old, the same age her mother was when she died of a heart attack. At that point, I started to feel panic – I just wanted the questions to stop and the treatment to start. I kept thinking “If that were my mother…”
No great surprise, just as the question period was finishing, she went into full-on cardiac arrest. After 40 minutes and 7 shocks to the chest, she was pronounced dead. I was selfishly thankful that I was there with my only kid who would remain completely clueless that someone just died beside us.
Then I thought about the daughters in the lobby. The doctors bickered about who was going to take them into the Family Room to deliver the news. They managed to get the girls to call in their aunt and uncle before telling them their mother was dead.
Within a couple of hours, I was heading home with my son. As I got into my car, I noticed two sisters standing by the hospital entrance, embracing and crying. So this Mother’s Day, I’m thinking about how they have no mother to celebrate with. And 10 years down the road, they may have babies of their own, who will never know Grandma.
In perfect honesty, I’m still frustrated that when that very sick woman entered the Trauma Room, there was too much chat and not enough action.
We only get one mother – there is no time to waste.
Billions of dollars are spent on gifts for Mother’s Day each year but despite thiscelebration of motherhood, hundreds of thousands of women worldwide die during pregnancy and childbirth.
Did you know?
• One maternal death every 90 seconds.
• 15% of all pregnancies result in complications during labor and delivery and sometimes are fatal.
• Pregnancy is the biggest killer of girls ages 15-19.
• For every woman who dies in childbirth, 20 more suffer from debilitating complications.
• We have the knowledge to prevent 90% of all maternal deaths.
Leveraging the power of social media, a group of 12 influential social media moms, including our own Julie Cole, got together to figure out how to make a difference. After a brainstorming session, Moms4Moms was born and the question was asked; what if 1% of that $14.6 billion could be given to this cause?
Consider helping by making a micro-donation of as little as $5 or donate an old cell-phone through the group Hope Phones. All funds raised will be given toEvery Mother Counts, an organization Christy Turlington started after her own home birth went awry. The organization works with maternal deaths and supports moms in several countries.
I often speak about how I do not have the “I’m done” gene when it comes to babies. Whenever I have a newborn, I think, “Yeah, I could do this one more time”. The problem is, I say that EVERY time – whether it’s baby #1 or baby #6.
As a result of my gene-lacking situation, some practical decisions had to be made so I wouldn’t one day find myself in the awkward position of being unsure if I was pregnant or experiencing menopause.
Because Daddy-o is sensitive about this topic, I need to remain somewhat elusive. Having said that, I’d like to share my feelings about a minor surgical procedure that he *may* or *may not* have had.
Having the baby door slammed shut on me didn’t hurt the way I had expected it to. I thought I would mourn the end of an era. Seems quite the opposite happened, as evidenced by a few things:
1) I packed up all my maternity clothes to give away and didn’t secretly hoard my faves “just in case”. That is how I always packed away my maternity clothes in the past. I didn’t really pack them away – they were never too far out of reach.
2) I got rid of my newborn baby clothes and blankets and didn’t shed a tear. In fact, once I cleared out all those teeny tiny things, I gave myself a pat on the back for decluttering and then repurposed the plastic storage bins.
3) I acquired a baby niece and didn’t abduct her. This was the true test. When my sister had baby Isla in January, I was worried. Usually when I hold a newborn, I can feel myself immediately ovulate. But I’m fine. I’m actually GOOD. I don’t need to have one of my own! Remarkable.
I believe that as long as the possibility of another baby existed, I would always have thought “Maybe just ONE more”. Strangely, as soon as the option was taken off the table, it’s as though I got injected with a healthy dose of the “I’m done” gene. This was a huge surprise and wonderful relief – or a certain Daddy-o *may* or *may not* have found himself back at a clinic getting another surgical procedure to undo the first surgical procedure.
One of my least favorite things to do is shop for greeting cards. Birthday, anniversary, baby showers, oh my! I try to buy them in a timely manner but always seem to put it off until the last minute. Last minute usually means that I am buying a card while I have a kid in tow. There is nothing worse than buying a greeting card with a 4 year old! Unless of course it is for another 4 year old. Kids see the greeting card isle and their “no attention span signal” lights up and immediately the fidgeting begins. You know you have enough time to browse maybe two or three cards until you have to decide and get out of there. This is how I learned that batching tasks is better for all of us!
1. Make an intentional trip to the store without kids to stock up on meaningful greeting cards.
2. While you are at it pick up a few gifts for the birthday parties you will surely be asked to attend during the year.
And here are some other times you may want to batch tasks:
3. Schedule doctor’s appointments for the same day.
4. Save errands for one day a week instead of scattered throughout.
5. Prepare snacks for the week ahead on Sunday.
6. Double up the size of a meal you make and freeze half for another night.
Any of these task will save you time and quite possibly a little sanity along the way!
What type of tasks do you batch together in order to save time?
On March 5th, 1971 I was born. Yep, I just turned 40. All year I was talking about the big birthday bash we were going to have at our house – it was going to be quite the event! But the closer my birthday got, the more the idea of throwing a party became one big headache. So I started saying that I would have a party when the weather improved. When friends and family asked, I pitched it as an outdoor event – people swimming in the pool, drinking summer cocktails, and possibly even a band on our balcony. When I started talking about it, I believed I would do it. Before long, it became the perfect “out” and I just said it as a way of not having to deal with this party nonsense. Summer is far enough away that my birthday will be long forgotten. Having a “plan” also let other people off the hook who may have been feeling like they should organize something.
As a “Mama of Many”, I throw a lot of birthday parties every year. I simply don’t have time or energy to celebrate my own. In fact, I figured I’d better schedule my mid-life crisis for a time that better suits – so if you’re looking for me in May 2014, I’ll be cruising around in a sports car with a Botoxed face, looking for Ashton Kutcher.
How did I celebrate my birthday? I got a zit. Seems I’m fighting acne and wrinkles at the same time. Note that I use the term “fighting” loosely since I barely have the energy to splash water on my face at the end of each day. I also celebrated by bringing my normal “casual style” to a whole new level of casual. I was at the office last week and noticed that I was wearing cargo pants – with an elastic waist. And I love them. I was also wearing Blundstone boots that I’ve had so long that I think our Marketing Assistant must have been a toddler when they were purchased. My kids also took me out for a birthday dinner at their favourite restaurant. It’s called Philthy McNasty’s. Yes, it’s all class around here. I got to wear a hockey helmet while all the servers sang to me. My head is still itchy thinking about that helmet.
So I’m being 40 and fabulous in my own way – it just so happens that my fabulous includes zits, dirty boots and possible head lice. I may not have actually dodged 40, but somehow managed to escape the party, and I couldn’t be happier.
**photo cred to the wonderful Karen Walrond who refuses to alter pictures of women to make us look “better”. See her blog: http://www.chookooloonks.com
The Mabelhood is the sum of all blogs, combining posts from Mabel Labels' bloggers Julie Cole, Caitlin Madden and a cast of guest bloggers. The Mabelhood documents the daily dramas of a group of people raising families and a label making business, plus everything else in-between.
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