Maintaining friendships when you are a mama can be a tricky business. Often already juggling a hectic home life, work and children, while also trying to carve out a bit of time with Daddy-o, can leave little room for your girlfriends.

The way I see it, there are a few friendship fizzling high risk situations:

1) You become a mama: Many report that their friendships with single/childless girlfriends suffer. Mama feels they don’t understand why she doesn’t want to ditch the kid to go dancing every weekend. This has not actually been my experience. My single friends have shown extreme interest and understanding when it comes to my kids. And I am equally keen to hear their Sex in the City lifestyle stories.

2) You have a child with a disability: Hate to say it, but mamas of kids with disabilities get ditched. I’ll explain why it happens in the autism world: you have a friend who brings her 3-year-old over for weekly playdates. Her kid can’t talk, has meltdowns for “no reason”, maybe he’s a bit aggressive, doesn’t relate to the other kids there and his behaviour is disruptive. The mama host thinks “Hmmm…this playdate would go much more smoothly if that kid with the problems doesn’t come”. The playdate invitations stop.

3) You constantly bail on plans: When you regularly drop out of social plans at the last minute, eventually your friends will stop inviting you. I generally don’t accept invitations in the first place because of my bailing stats. But, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate receiving a low pressure “turn up if you can swing it” invitation. It makes me feel that I have not been forgotten, and also that there is some understanding about my situation.

4) You become a Mama of Many: Right around the birth of your fourth child, families you normally socialize with suddenly stop inviting you over. Who can blame them – your family takes up their whole house.

How have your friendships survived? What are the biggest friendship hurdles you’ve encountered in your mama life? Are you still close with the friends you had pre-kids, or did you shake it up socially when you hit the mama scene?

As you can see, we Mabel gals take our blogging conferences VERY seriously!

Just back from BlogHer ’10 in New York City and quite frankly am feeling like I need a bit of a holiday. So much squealing and excitement on the first night left me with a nasty case of laryngitis. I spent the rest of the conference struggling to speak. But, you can imagine the energy of a conference with 2400 women bloggers all in one place. Having the opportunity to spend time with so many online friends and supporters of Mabel’s Labels was just awesome.

As a blogger, I’ve had several non-bloggers ask me many questions – from how to get started to why I like to blog. The answers are long and wordy, but a few quick points include:

1) If you’re going to blog, blog about something you love. If you are not passionate about what you do, it’s going to, well…suck.
2) Don’t go into it for the money. While bloggers often receive products to review, free diapers and diaper cream won’t pay the mortgage. The money *may* follow if you have enough readers that advertisers will pay to be on your site – but counting on that happening is probably not the best plan.
3) Know your limits. If you’re going to talk about your kids, have a big think about privacy before you get started. It’s one thing to talk about toilet training but if your tween catches wind that you’ve been blogging about her training bra, you’ll be in the doghouse faster than you can say “Justin Bieber”.
4) Blogging creates one heck of an awesome journal. I feel like my kids will have great fun in a few years looking back at their childhood through my eyes.
5) Blogging gives you a spectacular feeling of being heard. It is powerful.

So if you’ve been thinking about starting a blog, what is stopping you? I’m hoping to see you at BlogHer in San Diego next year, because there are many lessons to be learned at BlogHer. The biggest for me this time around was that even with a shocking case of laryngitis, I still have a voice.

I usually blog around this time of the week, but some of us have been chillin’ at the cottage. I’ve had no time to write – far too busy shoving smores in my gob, pulling leaches off little feet and enjoying an icy beverage from the campfire cooler.

So, all is well in dreamy cottage country. All will be shattered when I have to face the hard reality of cottage laundry – but we won’t think about that now.

Oh, and as for the title of this post – probably more accurate to say that at this point in time you can smell us from distances far and wide!

When you’ve been changing diapers for almost 11 years straight and you have been pregnant for about 250 weeks, it is fair to make claim to a bit of brain mush now and again. Sleep deprivation can make a mama foggy at times. Going to the grocery store and leaving without the item I went for is a common occurrence. Once, I was driving down the street with a van load of kids and had to pull over for a minute to think. You see, I had forgotten which child was being driven to what activity. When I looked in the rear-view mirror, I noticed one in a soccer uniform so I was able to carry on without actually having to admit anything to the kids.

But there are bigger things that I don’t remember – the things that I did before I had kids.

What did I do in the evenings? What did I start questioning at 4:00pm every day if not “What am I going to feed them?” To remove that daily dilemma from my brain space would leave quite a gap. Along with “feeding time at the zoo”, my evenings consist of organizing homework, packing school lunches and shuttling people to sports and dance classes. If not doing that, what would I be doing? I just can’t remember. Maybe I watched the 6:00pm news. Maybe I had a hobby. Whatever it was, it’s long gone from my immediate memory.

Waking up naturally because my body has had enough sleep.
Actually, I can’t even remember what it’s like to wake up to the sound of an alarm clock. I vaguely remember that sensation of a Saturday morning sleep- in, dozing in and out of lazy slumber, eventually crawling out of bed when it suited me. Yeah, vaguely.

Eating in a civilized fashion.
I can’t remember what it’s like to sit down and eat an entire plate of food without having to get up half a dozen times. What is it like to sit around a table enjoying food and chatter without springing up regularly to fetch things and cut up food on other people’s plates? I’ve been to dinner parties and left without actually having had dinner myself. And I’m told food is normally served hot. Imagine that – it’s actually HOT when served! By the time I get to my food, “hot” would not be a suitable description.

But from what all the weathered mamas tell me, these busy mama days go too quickly and before you know it, they too will become vague memories. So I think for the moment I’ll just clutch onto my cold dinners and hectic evenings for as long as I possibly can.

I sat down to write a nice blog about Daddy-o, because really, he is a fantastic father. But it’s not really my style to write a mushy post about how fabulous he is, so instead I thought I’d talk about how he almost broke the baby this week.

Daddy-o came home from work the other day and joined us all in the backyard. I went inside and started puttering around when suddenly I heard the panicked words of Daddy-o: “oh man….don’t move buddy, just stay right there.” I looked out the window to see my 13-month-old teetering half way up the wooden deck steps looking like he was about to take a step down. Daddy-o was running, but it was too late. Through the window, as if in slow motion, I watched my baby fall down the steps onto the cement patio.

Two initial reactions:
1) I was sick about the big bump on our baby’s head.
2) I was annoyed that Daddy-o thought it was somehow OK to take his eyes off our busy 13-month-old for even a second.

I have a friend who is married to an “absent-minded professor” type. You know how sometimes you’ll put your coffee on the roof of the car while you get in, and then drive away forgetting all about it? When my friend was expecting her first baby, it occurred to her that it would be entirely within the realm of possibility for her husband to do that with a baby in a bucket car seat. She sat her husband down and told him that if he was careless and it resulted in an injured baby, she would never, ever forgive him. She felt bad threatening him with their marriage before the baby was even born, but his absent-mindedness knew no limits. It worked – they have four kids who have survived babyhood.

Daddy-o claims he was just a bit rusty – it has been a couple of years since we had a tippy toddler. It’s easy to forget how quickly they move and we all know that these falls can happen right under our noses. But clearly, he took his eyes of the baby long enough for baby to get across the yard and up the steps. So what is a mama to do? We don’t want to nag our husbands about their supervision skills, but we need to have confidence that our kids are safe.

What is your experience? Does the Daddy-o around your house have good instincts or are you always a little nervous when he’s alone with the kiddos? Have you effectively communicated your concerns, or does he feel like you’re a nag?

In short, do you trust your husband with your babies?