Mother’s Day is around the corner and everyone is asking the moms what we want. I’m a simple gal and not particularly high maintenance in the gifts department. I don’t want flowers or jewelry for Mother’s Day or any other occasion really.

In fact, my perfect Mother’s Day gift would be doing without some things. For example, there are certain comments made by the general public that we mamas could do without. Mamas of biggie-sized families prefer not to be asked if we own a TV or suggestions that we should take up a hobby. Contrary to popular belief, we are not actually spending the majority of our time participating in baby-making activities. Another classic one – when I go out alone in the evening, I’d like people to stop asking who is taking care of the kids. There is this guy in their lives called their “father”. And no, he’s not “babysitting”. I checked in with Daddy-o and he has never been asked this question when out for the evening, yet I hear it constantly.

As for the Daddy-o list of things we mamas could do without, I think these few simple requests will do:

1) I’d like all men who happen to get up before their sleeping partners to carry their socks and shoes downstairs to put them on. Read: do not sit on the side of the bed and make the mattress jerk around. Oh, and don’t turn on your electric toothbrush either, ‘kay? Thanks.

2) Don’t shop – allow me. On my second Mother’s Day, I had a 17-month-old and a 7-week-old, both with chickenpox. Without naming names, *someone* got up on that day and said he was going out for the morning to do some Mother’s Day shopping. Yeah, right. Just hand over the credit card and you watch the kids – I can do my own shopping, thanks.

3) Let me manage and prioritize the “honey-do” list. You know when you’re out there in the garden puttering around with one of your projects and I’ve got kids hanging around my neck as I’m trying to prepare for a dinner party for 20 guests? Yeah, that. Stop it. Put the hammer down and release the children from me.

What is your Mother’s Day wish list? Does it involve diamonds, breakfast in bed or crap-tastic crafts galore? What could you do with and without on your one day a year?

My kids are far from spoiled, and I myself had a wonderful upbringing, but every once in a while I look at their lives and say to myself “In my next life, I want to come back as one of MY OWN kids”.

It happened last week. We had cousins visiting from overseas and it was all kinds of crazy fun. After several late nights, I allowed them to sleep in and be late for school one morning. This is something I’ve never done before and certainly something my mother never allowed. If we wanted to stay up and party like it’s 1999, I can assure you my mother had us up bright and early to greet that first sunrise of 2000. That makes sense to me – why protect them from natural consequences? But I let them sleep in last week. That one time.

They are currently experiencing something else that makes me think I should come back as them in my next life. They are on a cruise ship performing with their dance troupe. Yes, it’s rough – I know.

I managed to finagle my way in as “Stage Manager” because there was no way these privileged tweens were going without me. So, you’ll have to excuse me – I have to meet Gopher on the Lido Deck for a cocktail. Can’t wait to see what Isaac is serving up!

What about your kids – do you see them experiencing things and having opportunities that were completely off your radar as a child?

A while ago, my friend Louise relayed that she was horrified to learn that a woman she knows “unfriends” people on Facebook who brag about their kids a lot. Louise explained that she loves sharing news about her children and also hearing about other people’s kiddos. While I couldn’t agree more, I completely get where her friend is coming from.

I don’t have a problem with parents who use their status updates to talk about the cool stuff their kids do. But there is one condition – I better be hearing some of the bad stuff too. I love learning that little Johnny won MVP in the championship game, but I hope to also hear when little Johnny is sent to the office for giving his teacher the finger. If I’m getting all of the good, and none of the bad – well, that might qualify as annoying. If all I’m hearing about is your fabulous life, adoring husband and academically gifted children, I’m either rolling my eyes or throwing up a little in my mouth. If sickly sweet is the only thing being served up, I can find it hard to stomach.

It’s also interesting to consider what accomplishments we see as ‘bragable’. I’m as thrilled as the next parent when my kid manages to get balls in nets or cross finish lines before the friends do. Sometimes I’ll post about my pride. However, I do try to focus my bragging moments on the stuff that really matters – when they do something kind, thoughtful or empathetic. Those are the things that are worth sharing and celebrating. I recently posted on Facebook about my 12-year-old son who had offered to help my 97-year-old grandfather with a rather unpleasant task – one that most adults find difficult. Offering assistance to his elderly great-grandpa – well, that was brag worthy. Seems Facebook agreed – I’ve never seen so many “likes” in my history on that site.

My friend Stephanie recently posted about her father and I think it’s a shining example of appropriate bragging.

Stephanie SassyModernmom:
Can I just brag about my Dad? A 70-year-old man. Retired. In pain every day. While “wintering” in Florida, he spends every single Monday building houses for Habitat for Humanity. How cool is that?

What is your tolerance for bragging – annoying or awesome?

Fall rollerblading? Ask a sister or friend for help before calling me.

Parents often wonder what the appropriate age is to get a kid a cell phone. Some kids beg for one, claiming all their friends at school have them. Some parents feel it’s a safety thing – kids can get hold of them when necessary.

My three “biggies” are nine, eleven and twelve years old. While I can certainly think of times it would have been convenient for them to have cell phones, we haven’t gone there yet.

Interestingly, the reason my kids don’t have a cell phone is the reason most parents give for wanting them to have one – so that they can call in an emergency. But what constitutes an emergency? Most kids are actually calling their parents when they want a ride somewhere, run out of money at the mall or crash on their skateboards. Here’s the thing – I don’t want my kids to call me every time things go a little pear-shaped. I don’t want to always rescue them. Yep, in other words – solve your own stinkin’ problems once in a while, would ya?

Believe me, I understand how tempting it is to be just one quick phone call away to swoop in for the rescue. There have been occasions where I’ve handed mine over. I really do get it, but for my gang, I don’t feel like I would be doing them any favours. When would they learn to problem solve the old- fashioned way – by relying on each other, putting their heads together to come up with a new plan, or asking someone (other than mama) for help.

My two tween girls were recently skiing together when one fell and got hurt. The injured sister was left with “friendly strangers” while the other skied off to report the injury, first to the ski patrol, then to her aunt who was in the chalet. Some people might cringe at the thought of “friendly strangers”, but my kids have been taught to identify these people – usually those with kids or community helpers. I’m proud of how my 9-year-old dealt with that situation. Being independent (yet together) helps my kids bond, create memories and have fun. Most importantly, it provides them with opportunities to rely on each other and not me.

Some argue giving kids cell phones will keep them safe. For now, I feel like the best way to ensure their safety is to give them problem-solving opportunities. But every parent is best positioned to make these decisions based on their family situation and comfort levels. Not everyone can send their kids out with a bunch of siblings to rely on. Who knows how I would feel if I only had one tween.

So – cell phones or no cell phones for your tweens?

Here I am with my top three reasons for caring about violence against women

Several weeks ago, I was driving with my daughters in the van and ahead of us was a vehicle that said “Halton Women’s Place”. My 10-year-old daughter asked what that was. For a brief moment I was tempted to say it’s a nice place that women go to get their nails done, have a glass of champagne and spend time with their friends. But, being a kiddo truth teller (and not a kiddo question dodger), I did my best job of explaining that it is a place women escape to, often with their children, to get away from an abusive situation.

My daughter was shocked – a stream of comments and questions including “Dads really do that to the moms in the family?” and “So the moms have to take their kids and hide from the dads?”

Yep, would have been an easier conversation if I stuck with the spa story.

Fast forward two weeks – a local mama is murdered in her home by her ex-husband (and the father of her three young children). My 10-year-old notes that maybe she should have gone to that place where moms hide from dads.

Fast forward another couple of weeks, when she asks why our family didn’t watch the Grammy Awards and I explain that it was because a man who has been abusive towards women was performing. I go on to give the history. Again, she learns that organizations like Halton Women’s Place don’t exist without reason.

When I asked a friend in education what the reaction of her kids at school has been to Chris Brown, she said “The grade 6, 7, and 8 students seem to have no problem with what Brown did. The media really didn’t cover the seriousness of the incident, and the record companies and music blogs are constantly tweeting about his new music and videos to create excitement.” She continued to say there is a perception of romance now that the abuser and abused are working together in music – like some sort of “true love prevails” nonsense.

Are parents having conversations about violence with their kids? Are we leaving it all to the media? I’ve heard people respond to the Grammy fiasco, saying that what happens between an abuser and the abused is no one’s business. How is violence against women NOT our business? How many more times am I going to hear my daughter say: “I guess we still need Halton Women’s Place”?