Two years ago, our family sponsored a child in Costa Rica named Oscar Mario. He was the chosen one for very specific reasons – at the time, our family was a bit light in the boy department so we thought a male would even things out nicely. My eldest son was obsessed with Super Mario, so when we saw a child who had the name Mario, it was clearly a good fit.
The kiddos feel very connected with Oscar Mario – they send him letters and art work, and anxiously await his response. When they are all behaving like spoiled brats, I remind them of Oscar Mario and his life, and they humbly retreat back into humans I am proud to have birthed.
Last year for Oscar Mario’s birthday, our family sent off a package with stickers, cards and Mabel’s Labels. Some months later, it was returned unopened. I did what every good mother does – hid it from the kids and forged a letter of thanks from Oscar Mario.
I had been meaning to reach out to the agency to investigate the returned package. But our monthly donation continued to be withdrawn so I assumed everything was fine. Of course, following up on the package ended up at the bottom of my “to-do” list – tied in last place with about 20 other items.
Last month I got a letter saying we have a new sponsored child because Oscar Mario cannot be located. Not be located?! I started flipping out wondering how he just fell off the radar. Upon investigation, it seems that families commonly relocate without notifying the agency. So my next question was about where my money was ending up if my kid had gone MIA. I was told it went to his community. I do remember signing on and reading something briefly about how the money is distributed locally – I think the sponsored kid thing is more of a sales tactic.
It’s a sales tactic that worked very well on us. I’m pretty sad about losing Oscar Mario. For two years, we’ve been looking at his adorable picture on our fridge. He’s been my “go-to guy” when the kiddos need to be reminded about how privileged they are.
I have actually been putting off telling the kids about our now long lost friend. I’m torn between the truth (that he’s gone!) and telling them that his family won the lottery and Oscar Mario is busy managing his house staff in between private school tutorials and cello lessons. Suggestions welcomed.
RSS
These charities always use the money to help communities. The child is just the face of the community — the money isn’t given directly to the kids or their families. I sponsor with Plan and my child, Fransiskus in Indonesia, is just one person who benefits in that community from my donation. If he “disappeared”, I’d still contribute. Let’s face it, all these kids grow up and become adults; it’s the change to the community that makes the difference. I hope you’ll keep sponsoring. Cynthia
oh yes, we’re still sponsoring. I just find with the kids it was a really useful tool to have one child to connect them to. It’ll just be a different kid now, which is fine – just sad that it’s not our dear Oscar Mario! Our sponsored child that I had as kid (Ulyses Antonio from El Salvador)was with us until he aged out – so it was something like 12 years. It was an amazing experience for us to grow up together and share our experiences through letters.
I try to always be honest with my kids. I think I would simply tell them that he moved away so we would be sponsoring a new kid.
for sure – honesty is always the best policy with kiddos – just serve it up in an appropriate way (language, messaging, etc.) and you can’t go wrong. Thanks Anna! I have been procrastinating….
I would tell them that he has moved out of the district and can not be relocated. And to also give the choice to foster another child. That is very hard ~ to give your heart and have that happen.
Well I think you should tell them the truth… better to be honest and also explain the situation incase it happens to another sponsor. I think as a family you need to deal with the loss together… but celebrate the fact you were able to help him and his family and now get another opportunity to help another poor child. I think you should kinda have a fmily meeting and be prepared for them to share their sadness or feelings about losing Oscar Mario.
Iti s a hard thing to do, but you have done a great job in involving them in his life you just have to be up front with them.
Hope we hear what happens when you tell them
Actually, there are some organizations that do connect you with one child, and that is the child you are responsible for. If you want to donate to the community, that is a separate donation. One such organization is Compassion Canada. I’ve sponsored three different children through Compassion, and each time the child has moved or could no longer be sponsored, I’ve been notified promptly and allowed to send a final “goodbye” letter to them.
I’m sure there are other organizations that use this idea as a ploy, but because Compassion connects you with one child, they work with local churches, and they regualarly conduct audits of their programs, I will stick with them!
Interesting point about Compassion society!n Thanks for sharing.
Dear Julie,
There are many local unprivileged children and charities to assist that you could contribute to. I think that you and your family could make a difference and learn valuable lessons by contributing time and or money to make a difference in your own neighbourhood.
As well, why not tell the kids the truth? It may bring up a lot of thoughts, feelings and a level of understanding that you were not even aware that your children were capable of and….maybe not. I would try to think about your kids and prepare yourself and your responses as best you can before you tell them so that you are ready for what they may bring up/how they will respond.
Good-luck,
Little Miss Bossi
We do a lot of things locally as well. I found that having a sponsored child was an interesting lesson in geography/culture/etc. for the children. They pull out the globe and atlas to find where the other children are. It’s a unique experience for sure.
we loved sponsoring when i was a kid! but when ours moved away (or however it is that they can’t be located anymore) then they sent us a new child’s profile to say that’s who we’d be sponsoring from now on.