My 9-year-old often comes up to me whining that he’s “bored.” Even if we’ve had a busy morning packed with activities, sometimes we’re barely home half an hour before I hear those dreaded words! Does he need more activities? Or should he be able to figure out how to entertain himself?
You know your child best. Some children thrive with a packed activity schedule, others can easily amuse themselves with a book or a game for an hour at a time. As a kid, I always remember my little sister waking my parents at 6:00am every Saturday saying “What are we doing today?” which, loosely translated, meant “I need a project, and I need one NOW!” Still, even the most packed schedule requires some downtime and kids need to learn how to find their own amusement.
Pencil in family time: Before sending the kiddies off to fend for themselves, make sure you’ve factored in some family fun. Game nights, movie nights, and family bike rides are a few ways for the kids to know they’ve got a fun ‘date’ with mom or dad’s undivided attention to look forward to.
Find a pattern: When does he complain of boredom the most? A rainy day? Vacation time? When the siblings are at school? Sometimes a dull afternoon is unavoidable, but if you see a pattern forming, try and modify the schedule to fill the worst boredom hours with some planned activities.
Nanny Carrie’s Tip: Fill a jar with activities (board game, drawing, craft, etc.) written on slips of paper for the kids to draw from whenever you hear those two dreaded words. Better still, (or if the complaining gets unbearable!), make it a chore jar. You’ll be surprised how quickly your kiddos can scurry off and occupy themselves if the alternative is taking out the garbage!
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Ha! My mom always said “Oh your bored? Here’s a list of things to do: clean your room, do the dishes, etc etc”. We would always find something, or just go hide. But I really like the activity jar. I know for us sometimes we had done everything we could think of and sometimes we wanted to have someone think of something fun to do. Or just do something with Mom. I always try to do things with my boys if they are asking. Sometimes I can’t, but I tell them to be patient and do it in a few minutes.
Boredom is a gift and not enough parents give it to their children. By allowing our children to get “a little” bored–no electronic entertainment, no team sports, no planned activities–we give them an opportunity to give themselves over to their imaginations, their creativity and to learn more about who they are and what they like.
I have three kids, ages 5, 8, and 10 and outside of one activity a week (dance, a team sport, etc), I do not consider myself responsible for their entertainment. Yes, they get some tv, Wii and computer time each week (not necessarily each day) and yes, I have a shelving unit full of craft supplies, but the reality is that it is up to each of them to say “What am I going to do with my time today?” Sometimes they act out elaborate games together, they have been know to write music to play on the multitude of instuments in our home, they have written and performed puppet plays, they play sports in the backyard, or simply play–running, sweating, biking, etc.
Right now as I write this to you my oldest is sitting beside me learning to make balloon animals, my youngest is pretending to be a pirate in his bedroom and my middle child is currently constructing a working radio out of an electronics kit.
The reality is if I was always jumping in to entertain them and keep them from getting bored, they would not have the resourcefulness and skills that they have given themselves through experimenting (and often failing) in their personal attempts to try new things that interest them.
My oldest daughter had a wise kindergartien teacher. She said not to be afraid to let kids get a bit bored, because eventually they’ll figure out a way to amuse themselves. Maybe I liked this advice because it suits my parenting style; my kids’ lives are not jam packed with activities. They do a few things but they come up with a lot of interesting things on their own, at home. I think it’s important for home to be a fun place to play–hopefully some good outdoor space, maybe a treehouse, bushes to make forts in, and lots of pens, scissors, paper and tape for them to access easily on their own without an adult’s OK or help. The recylclng bin is not safe with my son around. Another kid of mine spent hours today blowing up balloons and paper bags with an old bike pump. I did not suggest this activity to him. I’d say don’t worry about it too much, but don’t jump to schedule more activities for him!