There is a lot of conflicting advice about ‘time-outs.’ At what age should I start using them and how can I make them effective?

Start young: The trouble with one-year-olds is that you really don’t have much leverage. You can’t bump up his curfew or unplug his phone, and if you take a toy away from him, he will probably forget about it entirely. At this age, time-outs are a perfect way for mom to express displeasure with certain behaviours. Do you have a baby who likes testing out new teeth on your shoulder? Sit him down on the floor for 30 seconds whenever he bites and he’ll soon learn that he doesn’t get to hang out with you if he keeps it up.

Give warnings: By about age 2 most kids can begin to understand the ‘1-2-3’ warnings, and it is only fair to give them a heads up that you are not impressed with their behaviour. Use your judgement though—if your child bites his sister or runs out into the street, don’t let him do it two more times before imposing a consequence. Certain behaviours get a one-way ticket to time-out…do not pass ‘Go,’ do not collect $200.

Nanny Carrie’s Tip: I tend to be a bit wary of the idea of the ‘time-in’ but if your child is having a rough day and you’re starting to notice a wear in the carpet from his beaten path to and from the time-out spot, you may need a little time together to get things sorted out. Kids in meltdown mode may need a little help getting back on track, so offer him the choice between chilling out by himself or cuddling with you on the couch. You may find that the latter helps everyone calm down more quickly.

Can you imagine saying something mean to that cute face? I did and it didn’t feel good.

Mornings around our house are always hectic. The other day, my five-year-old woke up excited that the long awaited kindergarten trip to the fire station had arrived. The best part – I was going along as a classroom volunteer. She is a real mama’s girl, so that was a pretty big deal in her little world.

This particular kid is a bit of a fashionista. By dumb luck, our kids ended up in a public school that has uniforms. As such, there is no real discussion about what kids are going to wear to school. However, my fashionista girl regularly express opinions about shoes, sweaters and coats.

On the day of the school trip, the morning was madness. I had to get the kindergarten kid and the three biggies out the door. The baby was screaming for breakfast and the pre-schooler had to get dressed for nursery school. I was under pressure for time since I had to get myself organized in order to be at school on time for the field trip. I handed my kindergarten kid her sweater with instructions to put it on and head out the door for the bus. She started fussing, complaining and carrying on about not wanting that sweater. I snapped. Out of my mouth came something that stopped her in her tracks. I said “If I get any fuss about this, I will not be going to the fire station”. She looked startled and quickly put the sweater on.

I consider that statement to be a perfect example of lazy parenting. Did I really just threaten to take away something so special to her – spending time with me? Did I really just serve up a threat I would not have followed up on? Yep and yep.

Half an hour later I was driving to the school with tears streaming down my face. When I arrived, my daughter’s little face lit up. I gave her a hug and told her I was sorry about the sweater incident and that I wouldn’t have missed the school trip for anything. She laughed and said “I know, mama!”

I’ve still got a lump in my throat as I type this, but I’m trying to remind myself that if my dear, sweet five-year-old can forgive me, maybe it’s time to forgive myself.

Thanks everyone who submitted questions for Ask the Organizer! I will be answering them throughout my regular posting schedule. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask! Here is this month’s Q and A.

I have all my children’s artwork and schoolwork and am having a hard time parting with it…any ideas on what to save? I have tried the “save 2 a year” thing and can’t quite pare it down to that.

Oh dear, I wouldn’t be able to pare down to two a year either… in fact I save quite a bit and it takes up very little space! I sit my kids down at the end of the year and we pick out our favorites. Then we take pictures of them and let the physical paper go. Once I have enough art saved up for each child I will have a book printed out for them to flip through. How thrilled will they be to see their art published!

Here are a few guidelines to help you wade through the artwork madness…
1. If it was painted by your child, keep it.
2. If it was pre-cut pieces that your child simply glued together, toss it.
3. If your child used his or her imagination only, keep it.

As for the schoolwork, I scan the big reports the older kids do every year and maybe a couple of “great job” papers. For the younger kids, I simply save a coloring and writing sample from the beginning and end of the year to see how they have progressed.

Sometimes the kids might have a hard time with the purging of the papers in the beginning, but taking pictures of the artwork lets them know that all is not lost. This activity will help your child build that “it is good to let go” feeling.

I have a busy toddler and a 9-month-old baby who always wants to be held. It’s getting harder to keep the little one happy when I have to attend to my 2-year-old. How can I juggle the two of them without someone always being upset?

We all knew to expect a demanding newborn when we signed up for baby #2, but what happens when that sleepy 8 pound bundle turns into 20 pounds of wiggly baby who wants to take up permanent residence sitting on your hip? Here are a few suggestions for keeping the little guy happy when you need a free set of hands.

Give him your full attention: When you are busy chasing after a toddler, your baby may want to be held because it’s the next best thing to your undivided attention. He’s happy to tag along, and you’re able to get lunches made and laundry folded. Instead, try setting aside opportunities during the day for one-on-one playtime with your baby. By fitting quality time together into your day, you can feel less badly about the times when you can’t be holding him.

Start small: Begin with short stretches of independent playtime when things are calm. Of course, there will be times where you have to hastily plunk him into the playpen and leave him to fuss while you sort out potty training and temper tantrums , but that’s just the plight of the second born! If you can start giving him short stretches of time on his play mat when things are relaxed, it will be easier to create a positive experience because it becomes a chosen activity and not something you have to do before your toddler starts colouring on the dining room wall.

Nanny Carrie’s Tip: If the little one is crying to be held, distract him with a toy or game to get him smiling again before picking him up. You won’t be reacting directly to his fussing, and he’ll learn to not always associate complaining with getting what he wants (good practice for the whining phase!)

Hello lovely Mabelhood neighbors! I have been sharing organizing tips here for some time now, and this week I thought I would do something a little bit different. I want to hear from you! Do you have a nagging organizing problem in your home or office? Do you have a persistent paper pile or old pictures stacked way too high?

Share your questions in the comments and I will feature the answer in a future post! We have covered topics like laundry, playrooms and even motivating your children to clean, but there is so much more!

Do you have any problem areas you would like to Ask The Organizer about?