I can’t stand the whining! Sometimes it feels like my child is whining all day, every day. What can I do to discourage it and get her to communicate nicely?
It’s a sound a parent could identify anywhere…the dreaded whining of a grumpy kiddo. And is it just me or is it that much more difficult to listen to when we’re cooped up inside on cold winter months?
You may have a child who can be jollied out of their whiny moods with mama making jokes or even echoing the whine so they can giggle about how silly it sounds. Not my boy. Around here, whining quickly turns into wailing if he feels I’m not taking him seriously. So what can we do to keep the tone cheerful?
Respect the problem: More often than not, your little one is whining because something is wrong. It doesn’t mean you can fix it (“Yes, you still have to make your bed.” “No you may not have cookies for dinner.”), but you can still show your child that you understand their feelings. Validate their emotions with comments like “I understand that you don’t want to tidy up the playroom but someone might trip and get hurt if there are toys all over the floor.” Your child will appreciate it if they feel like they’re being heard.
Ignore it: Once you’ve acknowledged their reasons for being upset, you’re free to ignore the whining that continues. Don’t forget though, younger ones will need reminders to switch to a more cheerful tone. (“Use your words please.” “Can you ask me in a friendly voice?”)
Distract them: Nothing has me knocking on the neighbour’s door begging for a playdate faster than a toddler who woke up on the wrong side of bed. A change of scenery and some new faces can help perk up even the grumpiest mood. Get out for a walk or call up a playmate.
Nanny Carrie’s Tip: None of these solutions will do any good if you’re dealing with a hungry or tired child. If the whining has reached its peak, take a minute to think back on the day and you may find that this morning’s exhausting soccer game or an unfinished breakfast might be the root of the problem. An early bedtime or a little blood sugar boost might be just what the doctor ordered.
RSS
holy cow…so true about the hungry/tired thing. I had one kid who would turn all whiney and annoying and I realized it was JUST before morning snack…started giving it 10 minutes earlier and done deal! I don’t think there is anything that gets on my nerves than a whining kid. Around here, we always try to practice using our ‘cool voice’, because that uncool one is VERY uncool!
“I’m NOT tiiiiired!! I’m NOOOTTT crankyyyyy!!”
Lots of great advice in this post. You’ll save a LOT of mamas’ sanity with this one, Nanny Carrie!
WOW…so very true. Kids seem to be so tired these day (probably tired from all the “indoorness”)…counting down days until summer! Great reminder!! Thank you for sharing some practical & easy tips to follow, will definately try them.
Good tips! There is no worse sound than the whiney child.
I usually go with “I can understand you with your voice like that. Can you use your normal voice to speak please? Where’s your (child’s name) voice today?”
@juliebavi
Julie, i like the ‘cool voice’ idea!
Monica, you’re SO right. I am dying to be able to get the kids outside. It does so much for their mood/appetite/sleep everything!
Thanks for this. I’m in the thick of it with a VERY whiney toddler and it’s making me crazy. I have tried a couple of your tips, but I’m going to work on the rest. What about a whiney momma? ; )
I use “cool” and “uncool” language a lot with behaviours. It seems to address appropriateness, without saying that what they are doing is ‘bad’. ya know? Plus, I use thumbs up and thumbs down with them so that I can sometimes throw out some non-verbal cues about how I feel about their behaviours and they can get them in check without too much attention being drawn to it if we are somewhere in public.