I have this friend Steve who was recently on a flight. Across the aisle was a new mama with her babe and a very elderly man, who from here on in shall be called ‘old dude’.
As the airplane was taking off, mama started breastfeeding babe. As any travelling mama knows, it’s good if you can get babe to feed on the way up and the way down to relieve any ear pain due to changing air pressure.
As she is feeding, old dude is shuffling around, mumbling under his breath, clearing his throat and basically looking uncomfortable with the breastfeeding situation that is going down beside him.
It was a short flight so before long decent had started and mama sensibly put babe back on breast. Old dude could not contain himself any longer and said “this is clearly making me uncomfortable and yet you continue to breastfeed that child.”
At that point, old dude should have been happy he was not sitting next to me. I feed anywhere, anytime and in front of anyone. If someone feels uncomfortable, they are welcome to leave. Indeed if that sentence had fallen on my ears I likely would have experienced something very close to rage.
Old dude had the good fortune of sitting beside a very gracious mama who very politely and respectfully explained why it helps baby to feed when there is change in air pressure. Old dude seemed satisfied and quite pleased that he had learned something new that day.
The plane landed and old dude was shuffling around looking for his cane and belongings when he turned and looked at my friend Steve and with a quiet smurk said:
“Huh, and to think for all these years I’ve been chewing gum”.
RSS
RSS
ha! love that!
) You can be sure though, that if anyone commented on me making them uncomfortable, I’d be telling them where to stick it!
I definitely fall under the ‘any time, any where’ category, though I do make a reasonable effort to be discreet (nothing funnier than watching men and non-mothers have a conversation with you while looking up at the sky or down at their shoes in an effort not to look like they’re looking
The only time I did excuse myself from the crowd was at a Rotary Club BBQ…something about a dozen or so 60 year old business men just doesn’t scream ‘this a breastfeeding friendly picnic table’ so i went to sit under a tree
I too would have probably been snippy – and I can recognize that’s probably not the best approach.
I certainly did LOL at the end! I didn’t know that about nursing on a plane and I hope never need to put that to use (done with babies!) but it was nice that he seemed a little more pleasent at the end of it all.
I nursed both of my boys but never in public. Not because I cared what others thought but I am just a shy person and it just wasn’t for me. good for you if you can!
I have seen a lot of mom’s feeding in public and while it doesn’t bother me one bit, I do think there there should be SOME decency about it.
We were at the zoo one day and a lady started to nurse, which was fine but my 7 year old happen to be looking at her as she started. She just pulled up her shirt, full boob hanging out there while she fumbled with the baby, got her latched on and was just sitting there with her shirt hiked up. Needless to say my son was looking at her mouth wide open, not at her boob but he knows those as “private parts”.
Perhaps if she had a nursing shirt on? A blanket? I mean something… It is a great thing but I do think there is a LITTLE bit of consideration that should be had for those around you.
TL
That’s an interesting comment Toni-Lynn….I guess it’s what the kids have been exposed to. My kids have seen so much breastfeeding that they think that the very point of breasts is to feed babies so don’t think it’s weird at all to see anyone breastfeeding. I think in the end every mama has to do what she is comfortable with and what works for her. Most moms are more concerned about exposing their muffin tops than their breasts while breastfeeding. lol!
I have to say that I sympathize with “old dude” and I think he actually turned out to be okay! As you point out, moms are okay with breastfeeding wherever, but you have to recall that it wasn’t all that long ago, that things “like that” were kept totally discreet. Looks like all old dude needed was an explanation, and he was happy – apparently very happy and clearly considering his options for his next flight!
Oh, and nice updated pic & bio!
Ahh, nothing like perspective. From both old dude’s side, mom side and us reading it. Good blog!
ha, I love it! My kids too think that boobs are for feeding babies, it’s what they grew up with. It always seems to be the older generation who are uncomfortable with it. I love your blogs, Julie! As a mom of four children, I can always relate to your stories
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I breastfed both of my children, any where and everywhere. But, I used a blanket to keep covered, for my privacy as well as to keep others around me happy. I had quite a few people give me ugly looks but I just told them “this is the way God intended babies to eat. It’s healthier for them and for me. It’s a bonding experience, and I’m not going to starve my child because you’re uncomfortable. As long as you can’t see what’s going on under here, don’t be nosey and don’t worry about it.”
I nursed both of my children, and with the first baby, I was so worried about what others thought, I would find somewhere private (an usually extremely uncomfortable) to feed her. Fortunately, I got over it. So with baby number 2, I nursed him wherever we were when he got hungry. I used a blanket to cover me up, but there was no mistaking what he was doing under that blanket! Slurp, AAAAHHHHH! Slurp, AAAAHHHH! It was very funny watching people approaching me, wanting a peek at the “sleeping” baby, only to watch their faces turn bright red when they got close enough to hear how happy he was to be “getting the good stuff” from Mama!
I think I would have been like the woman on the plane and explained how it helped the baby. To get upset only makes both parties more upset. It seems his attitude shifted with understanding. I think if we all communicated our feelings in a positive and non-confrontational way we would all be better off.
no question – this was a happy ending story…old dude more accepting and the lovely mama who took the time to explain. It is hard not to be defensive of our mama ways, but a little non-confrontational chat can go a very long way!
lol – great story! i’m definitely a momma worried more about covering up my muffin top than anything else!
Good for the mom for staying calm and good for “old dude” for being able to see another side. LOL
I was definitely more worried about the “muffin top” too
Julie, I agree but my son was my only at the time and had never really known anything else until his brother came along. It is not as big of a deal to him now as it was then!
Toni-Lynn
The “old dude”‘s final comment made me burst into tears laughing!! Way to go, lactivist mommy!
Love this story! I have breastfed both of my daughters when we fly( and still do #2). I usually sit in the window seat and have my husband sit on the aisle to help with the fun looks
…but we have been lucky to get lots of smiles and nods of approval.
And I agree with exposing your children to breastfeeding. My 1st daughter (almost 4) loves to watch, ask questions and even breast feeds her babies when I breast feed her sister.