I’m currently writing an article for Mother’s Day about mamas who don’t have their own mothers around. It’s fascinating to me that people can raise children when their own moms are not retired, living locally, emotionally involved or alive. So, you have that happy read to look forward to. In the meantime it got me thinking about another valuable player in the extended family – the childless aunt.
I had a childless aunt who we tragically lost to breast cancer a dozen years ago when she was only 46-years-old. For the time that we did have her, she was a committed babysitter, sleepover participator, baseball and hockey game attendee, dance recital enthusiast and crazy eights player. She set out to make each and every one of her 16 nieces and nephews feel tremendously special and did a decent job of it.
My children are fortunate to have a collection of seriously invested and interested aunts and uncles. But there is a unique relationship they have with my childless sister, affectionately known to all as “Mare”.
A couple of weeks ago, my Number One Son announced that Monday was his favourite day of the week. It made no sense to me – Monday is the first day back at school and on Monday evenings he attends a two-hour reading group. Not exactly a nine-year-old boy’s idea of fun since reading group is a far cry from hockey games or Pokemon battles. He reminded me that on Mondays my sister, Mare, picks him up from reading group and takes him for a burger before returning him home.
During their time together, my boy gets to tap into Mare’s knowledge and experience, which is wide and varied. I’m not sure why or how, but Mare is fluent in the language of “nine-year-old boy” and can speak in length and detail about Star Wars, sharks, retro comic books, cartoons, etc. Clearly, it just doesn’t get much better than that!
When we are all at the cottage, I’m fairly occupied keeping the place tidy, fixing lunch and settling babies for naps. While I’m doing those little tasks, Mare is swimming with the kids, setting up treasure hunts or collecting bugs with them. My kiddos think that my older sister is a teenager.
When we become mamas, we suddenly recognize and value our relationships in different ways. In preparing the Mother’s Day article it became quite clear to me that those of you who are doing this mama gig without a mother OR a childless sister are pretty impressive. Kudos to you – I don’t know how you do it.
RSS
RSS
I absolutely agree about the childless sister! My sister is a couple years younger than me but has no plans for many many years to settle down and have kids -if ever. But she’s AWESOME with my little guy…visits, babysits, and is just generally always interested in what he’s doing…and definitely makes up for my slightly shall we say, ‘less than maternal’ mom
P.S. Julie, i love the pics you always put up…your kids are precious!!
Childless sister, right here!
I love being an auntie and taking my nephew to fun places. We like going to the art gallery on family day and out for ice-cream and to pumpkin and maple syrup farms.
A nice post julie!
What a lovely post. Your sister Mare is very fortunate that you appreciate her so.
At Savvy Auntie, we call these aunts PANKs – Professional Aunts No Kids. The terms “childless” reminds us of what we’re not… and yet we are so much to the children in our lives. We’re ABRs (Aunts by Relation) ABCs (Aunts by Choice) godmothers, great aunts, cool aunts, older cousins, neighbors, etc.
Personally, I float somewhere between motherlessness and motherhoodlessness and thank all the moms out there who give me so much joy and ‘maternal’ love through the gift of their children.
XOXO
Auntie Melanie
Founder, SavvyAuntie.com
Auntie Melanie…..I like your terminology! It felt very weird to be writing ‘childless’ but couldn’t pinpoint why but you’ve nailed it for me. Thanks for popping by the Mabelhood and I’ve already forwarded your site to MARE!!
Nice! My son is incredibly lucky – and so am I! He has 3 great grandmas, 2 grandmas, 2 grandpas, 2 childless aunties and he is the only grandson/ nephew.
It is even more amazing that they are all very involved in his life! I have to turn down offers for the family to see him sometimes just so I can have some time with him!
Hey Julie, love the post!
I had a younger sister with no children…every visit with Aunt Sherri was filled with reading, exploration and energy that I found harder and harder to muster. She is now a mom, of my beautiful neice, Ella. (a wonderful little 18 month old ) But that has not stopped my sister from being the ‘hands-on’ aunt they love. We just spent a week with her in Ottawa…and true to form, my sister and children toured museums, went bowling, created pottery designs, read books,and visited a play center.
My sister (childless or not) has been an incredible influence on my children…me on the other hand? Well, this week I taught Ella what chocolate chip cookies and milk tastes like…shhhh (don’t tell your mom)
Love this article Julie – I can say that Mare is up in the big leagues with my kids too, and I think they’re very blessed to have such a fantastic aunt!
I am one of those moms who does not have any “help”, my parents have both passed away, no brothers or sisters, in-laws live overseas…..it is extremely difficult at times but also extremely rewarding. Luckily, I have wonderful childhood friends that are able to step up and help out when we need them. However, I will say that when you have to do things by yourself, you are much less likely to ask others for help with the kids. I guess the life experiences that have caused us to “toughen up” (for lack of a better term) have also taught us how to be extremely self-sufficient. It’s both a blessing and a curse!
BTW, if there is a link to the Mother’s Day article, please post it! I would love to read it