There have been a couple of recent incidents that made me wonder if I was the victim of a practical joke. Apparently not. Apparently I just have a life where ridiculous things happen. Do you ever feel like maybe you are the punch line? Three events come to mind for me:
1) On a recent 15-hour flight with my five children, a 9-year-old boy who was traveling alone was seated next to me. Yep, that’s right – put child traveling without parents next to the pregnant mother traveling with five. So there I was, reading with him, encouraging him to eat at meal time, setting him up with my kid’s DVD player, tucking him in for the night, etc. When I asked the flight attendant if it was indeed a joke among the airline staff, she simply stated that they had hoped he would just ‘blend in’. I noted that while I may be a bit thick at times, I did happen to notice the extra child for those 15 hours.
2) Last week I e-mailed our local soccer organization requesting that one daughter be placed on the same team as a little friend in the neighbourhood. I explained that I was having my sixth c-section at the beginning of soccer season and my kind neighbours had offered to help out with car-pooling. The soccer club responded saying there were no guarantees, then went on to say they were short volunteers and would I please coach or convene the league this season. OK, wasn’t the whole point of my request that I can’t even get my own kid to her games?? No, I’m not going to volunteer to coach or convene the league!
3) Report cards came home. One evening daddy-o and I entertained each other reading the canned report card comments out loud, tears of laughter rolling down our faces. Some of my personal faves included:
“She uses planning skills effectively to create media texts for different purposes and audiences.”
If anyone knows what that means, please fill me in.
“He should explore a variety of conventions and techniques encountered in familiar media.”
Ummmm, OK, we’ll get working on that one.
“She demonstrates traveling in a variety of ways using different pathways with a considerable degree of skill.”
Does that mean she can skip in one direction and then quickly gallop in another? Wow, I knew my kids were clever but this takes the cake. Clearly all of the money I’ve dumped into dance and gymnastics is really paying off.
So if someone out there feels like jumping out and yelling “you’re on Candid Camera”, I’m ready for you but I have a funny feeling that I could be waiting a while.
RSS
I think Luke got a similar comment about “travelling” but it was more that he needed encouragement to “explore mixed travelling opportunities.”
Very funny as always, Jules.
F
…tears from laughter were running down my face as I read this blog!
Yeah, I know my teacher friends feel weird about report card comments as well….but I’m hoping that none of my kids teachers read the blog this week
I also hope that the nasty email I sent back to the soccer club doesn’t ruin my chances for getting my request granted!
I just found your blog on Twitter Moms and I love it! I think we may have a few things in common. I hope we can keep in touch. Take care!
“She demonstrates traveling in a variety of ways using different pathways with a considerable degree of skill.”
Hey, don’t under estimate these life-building skills!
It’s just a jump to the left
And then a step to the right
With your hands on your hips
You bring your knees in tight
Just think of how she will out-shine the rest, at an audience-participation showing of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” someday!
I recently discovered your blog, Julie, and it’s great, but I’m having technical difficulties with your automated feed. I’m subscribed to it via my blog reader (Google Reader) but the feed says you haven’t made any posts since mid-December. Maybe it’s a Blogger setting issue?
Amen sister! I have many minutes in the week like these. In fact, I added “Off the Cuff” on my blog to take care of those moments that defy rationality. My hats off to you in managing far more than I do in a given day however!
Julie – these experiences are just crying out to be read at wedding receptions in years to come. I hope you’re filing these comments in the right baby books. (Your baby books are all up to date, of course….)