I quite accidentally had my 20-week ultrasound this week. Because I am overseas at the moment, I was just going to give the whole thing a miss. Minor complication came up so the Doc ended up sending me for an ultrasound here. All is well and I enjoyed what will likely be the last ultrasound in the career of this tired uterus.
The ultrasound tech was keen to know if I wanted to know the gender of the baby.
My answer was as it always is: a definite NO. The ultrasound tech nearly hit the floor because she said that 99% of women in my situation are anxious to know. She hit the floor a second time when I asked her to write down the gender and put it in an envelope for me to hand deliver to my MIL. Apparently, that was a first for her.
I never find out the gender, but always allow my elder women folk to know. Nan and Oma are very tight-lipped and have never blown the surprise for me. I’ve also noticed they are more likely to engage in a bit of pre-birth grandmotherly shopping if they have the required info, which is always a good thing.
I don’t find out because feel like there are just too few surprises in life. As a c-section mama, I’ll know the birth date and having done this five times already, I know the baby will be just below or just above 7lbs. I even know what it will look like. If immediately after birth the baby was thrown into a nursery with fifty other newborns, I’d be able to pick mine out in an instant. So, there’s not a lot of mystery involved.
In addition, I really just don’t care what I’m having. I’ve got plenty of both but even if I had a single gendered family, I doubt I would be too invested in the gender. My SIL thinks that everyone secretly wishes for a specific gender and asked me to dig deep and tell her what I really wanted. I mentioned that a boy would be good for bedroom sharing reasons. Then I said that a girl would be good because there would be less worry about autism. I suggested I might have a better idea later in the pregnancy based on whether I’m happier with my girl or boy name choice. My SIL clarified that those reasons don’t count – the answer had to come from just a secret desire based on no practicalities. As such, she’s still waiting for my answer and I really don’t think I’ll be able to come up with one.
Another reason for not finding out is that I absolutely hate having the c-section. Lying on the table with the awareness that my guts are wide open really does my head in. Being able to look forward to the gender surprise is a good focus point for me while I’m freaking out about the actual c-section procedure.
I know it sounds cliche, but for many mamas like me who have experienced having a child with health or developmental issues, my true desire has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with health. I don’t feel like I’m in a position to get too much fussier than that.
* that is not a doll in Posy’s arms, but the baby who is soon to be de-throned.
**HUGE thanks for the support from all of you. The Mabelhood won best family blog in the Canadian Blog Awards!! THANKS!!!!
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Julie one thing we know it the baby will be another beautiful Mabelbaby.
Congratulations on the award! !
We waited on our twins gender too! It was a wonderful surprise. Do let us know!
Congratulations, Julie! (On both the award and on baby #6.)
thanks for the congrats! I think I may have been a bit tempted if I was having TWINS….that may have been surprise enough! ha!
Glad to hear that all is well!
Congratulations on the blog awards!