I recently had someone ask if I had any birthday party activity suggestions. Just thinking about that question exhausted me. In the last eight years I have had countless birthday parties. Actually, it’s not countless – just adding up my children’s ages tells me that by the end of next month I will have hosted 26 of the stinkin’ things.
I have self-diagnosed my condition: birthday party fatigue.
We’ve done them all – bowling, indoor playgrounds, parks, magicians, reptile guys, musical chairs, and the list goes on. Any way you slice it, at this point in my birthday party throwing career, the novelty has long worn off. In fact, I’m not sure it was ever there to begin with.
The problem remains that while I’m a good mama and very comfortable in that role, I don’t quite make the grade in the domestic arena. I don’t think there is a connection between being a good parent and being a domestic diva. Sure, you need to have the basics down and I generally do – my kids have clean clothes, regular baths and full bellies. Anything beyond that is gravy and has no place in any job description of mine.
This can help you appreciate that five birthday parties a year is a big ask for someone who is not hospitable (in the traditional sense) and does not bake cakes. When people walk through my front door, they are greeted with a request to dash into the kitchen and pop the kettle on. Guests who arrive early are given actual chores. Don’t get me wrong, I love having visitors and we have an open door policy around here. People always feel comfortable dropping in because they know that I won’t feel stress about what they walk into. I’m just not in a position to care what people think about the state of my house. I’ve got bigger problems and at this point, I would consider such worries to be a luxury.
As a weathered birthday party throwing mama, I have learned that it is best to simplify the festivities. Guests are instructed not to bring presents and in return I do not give them loot bags. My theory is: no landfill and fewer sugar bugs on teeth. I often chuck a little something at the kiddos by the door as a way to notify them that their time is up and as a means of avoiding departing tears. As I deliver the little something, a sensitive microphone might be able to pick up what I am muttering under my breath: “don’t hit yourself with the door on the way out”. And you can guarantee that any birthday party I throw takes place during the 2:00pm – 4:00pm time slot which gets me off the hook for having to provide a proper meal. Get some cake into their gobs, and my work is done!
With risk of sounding like I’m about to do some celebrity name dropping, I’m giving the disclaimer that what I’m about to say is relevant to this topic. So, I’m on the phone a couple of weeks ago with Reese Witherspoon’s Personal Assistant. She wanted some Mabels products to go in the loot bags for Ava’s 26 little birthday party guests.
It occurred to me that I’ve been doing this all wrong. All I have to do is get myself a PA and give out loot bags that resemble Celebrity Swag Bags. That might just be the cure to my birthday party fatigue.
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Oh, I hear you. I’m so not into the whole birthday party thing, and I have only thrown ONE kid-friend party so far! The only thing I like to do is make the cake, but after that….I’d like to hire a PA to do all the work for me!
So that means I’m 4 degrees of separation from Reese Witherspoon? Wow!
A PA would be very handy.
(And where did Mumby go? I see her name’s been removed from the blog. Tell her we miss her!)(Yes, I know, she hadn’t posted here in forever. I kept thinking that the next post would be hers!)
Don’t worry – Mumby has not gone far….well, she kind of has if California counts. She has brought Mabel to Cali! Very exciting!
So, sorry you’re stuck with just me blogging