When you think of wedding stress you probably think the most stressed out person involved is the Bride. Maybe in the case of a high strung Mother of the Bride (MOB), she’s the likely candidate. Once I was at a wedding where there had been a recent divorce of the Groom’s parents and the most stressed out person was the one who was instructed to ensure that the respective parents didn’t cross paths. It’s always stressful too, when there is that loose cannon alcoholic uncle who is likely to either pass out at the table, make an inappropriate speech or hit on the sophomore bridesmaid.
But, with all those stresses buzzing around, my personal experience tells me that no one is more stressed out than the mother of the flower girl and ring bearer! The thought of your children ruining the wedding of a loved one….well, it weighs very heavily.
I’m a bit of a veteran since next weekend will be the fourth wedding my children have been involved in. One daughter, who is painfully reliable has been in all three to date. Problem is, the children in my family can be divided into two categories: the “completely reliable” and the “pathetically unreliable”. The over-experienced Flower Girl around here is very lonely in her category since all four of her siblings fit into the latter. My stress levels have been recently peeked since my ONE reliable kid has been benched for this one.
The picture you see is of two of my girls in cousin Christina’s wedding last year. I thought that by inviting one of the kids from ‘unreliable’ camp into the wedding party showed that she was a good sport – even on her wedding day she was prepared to handle anything that was coming her way. I was stressed, but respected that Bride’s spirit!
Christina’s sister, Carol Ann is marrying Andrew on Saturday and three of my highly unreliables are in the wedding. Clearly, they are a couple who like to live on the edge. Last summer, Groom Andrew would make cracks (as my baby crawled around) about getting him trained up for the trip down the aisle. I thought Andrew was joking, apparently I was wrong.
So the kiddie contingent of at the Carol Ann/Andrew wedding is looking like this:
- my eldest son, who is amazing (but wasn’t diagnosed with autism for no reason);
- my diva three-year-old who has proven that she is a ‘bridezilla’ in the making, when at her first dress fitting she had a melt-down because she couldn’t wear her dress NOW and directly to the wedding. Oh, and don’t refer to the flower wreath on her head as a headpiece, because it is actually her ‘crown’;
- my 20-month-old who is, well, 20-months-old! He naps everyday from 12:00 noon – 2:00pm. The wedding is at 1:00pm, so he will either be asleep or absolutely psycho.
After hearing countless elders in the family ask me when I was going to cut the boys’ hair (I like the surfer dude look), I took the Bride aside and asked her opinion. She firmly stated that she has told me three times that she doesn’t care about their hair, if the baby sleeps through the wedding, or if the diva dances down the aisle.
That was a moment of clarity for me – this is a couple who GETS that a wedding is about the people, and not the performance. If the chick in the tierra can speak with that kind of authority, maybe it was time for me to take a chill pill. I mean, should the Bride really be counselling me the week before the wedding? Yikes – what a reality check!
So that has opened up a whole new set of issues for me to worry about. For example, I still have the same nail polish on my toes as I had for her sister’s fall wedding. I wish I could say I was exaggerating.
No longer am I worrying about how things are going to go next Saturday at 1:00om. I’m committed to worrying about getting to other important issues surrounding this wedding – first up, getting a pedicure!
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Love the photo!
Can’t wait to see photos / read stories of the events of Saturday! Sounds like a great time will be had by all!
oh, I’m sure I’ll have some doozie stories! No doubt a couple of cute photos too….a 20 month old in a full on tuxedo! Oh, and just so ya know, my mom was over after reading the blog, saw my feet and can confirm that there is a ratty bit of pink nail polish on each toenail!
Glad to hear that the bride “gets” the people vs. “day” performance scenerio. I can’t wait to hear what story everyone will be laughing about years from now when they reflect on this couple’s wedding day. No doubt it will include your kids!
Nice work! I can’t get Welcome to the Jungle out of my head! ”Welcome to The Jungle, We’ve Got Fun And Games”