Do you remember the first time you felt it? The mama-guilt? Could have been anything – letting her cry, resenting waking up, really really really wanting to give up nursing and give her a bottle… I remember being overwhelmed with guilty thoughts and thinking ‘why didn’t anyone tell me this?’.
I visited my aunt and new baby cousin this weekend. Baby Syd is very cute and very sweet, but also VERY attached to her mama. At 9 months, she won’t let anyone else hold her, feed her, cuddle her, or look at her! Mama took a few hours off and left Syd with Daddy & Grandma. She admitted that having Syd attached to her 24/7 was getting a little old. She hasn’t been out without her, she misses her friends, she misses her freedom… The moment the words left her lips she was overwhelmed with guilt! Wished she could take the words back… I SO recognized that guilt. That’s the guilt I’m talking about. That’s the guilt they don’t tell you about. It’s OK, I tried to tell her. It’ll get better, I tried to tell her. And that is all true – those feelings will pass. But the one thing that won’t change is that she’ll always feel guilt about every decision she makes and every negative thought she has! Just part of the package, forever & ever.
All of these instincts & common expereiences are hard-wired for a reason, right? What’s the guilt about? Maybe that’s what makes us over-analyse all of our decisions. Maybe that’s why it’s there.
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