Mother’s Day – What I Don’t Want

May 6th, 2012
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Mother’s Day is around the corner and everyone is asking the moms what we want. I’m a simple gal and not particularly high maintenance in the gifts department. I don’t want flowers or jewelry for Mother’s Day or any other occasion really.

In fact, my perfect Mother’s Day gift would be doing without some things. For example, there are certain comments made by the general public that we mamas could do without. Mamas of biggie-sized families prefer not to be asked if we own a TV or suggestions that we should take up a hobby. Contrary to popular belief, we are not actually spending the majority of our time participating in baby-making activities. Another classic one – when I go out alone in the evening, I’d like people to stop asking who is taking care of the kids. There is this guy in their lives called their “father”. And no, he’s not “babysitting”. I checked in with Daddy-o and he has never been asked this question when out for the evening, yet I hear it constantly.

As for the Daddy-o list of things we mamas could do without, I think these few simple requests will do:

1) I’d like all men who happen to get up before their sleeping partners to carry their socks and shoes downstairs to put them on. Read: do not sit on the side of the bed and make the mattress jerk around. Oh, and don’t turn on your electric toothbrush either, ‘kay? Thanks.

2) Don’t shop – allow me. On my second Mother’s Day, I had a 17-month-old and a 7-week-old, both with chickenpox. Without naming names, *someone* got up on that day and said he was going out for the morning to do some Mother’s Day shopping. Yeah, right. Just hand over the credit card and you watch the kids – I can do my own shopping, thanks.

3) Let me manage and prioritize the “honey-do” list. You know when you’re out there in the garden puttering around with one of your projects and I’ve got kids hanging around my neck as I’m trying to prepare for a dinner party for 20 guests? Yeah, that. Stop it. Put the hammer down and release the children from me.

What is your Mother’s Day wish list? Does it involve diamonds, breakfast in bed or crap-tastic crafts galore? What could you do with and without on your one day a year?

Comments: 10

From Tot’s to Teens and Everything In Between

May 3rd, 2012
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A recent organizing job has had me working on a 13 year old girl’s room. Which has had me thinking about those organizing transitions from toddler-hood to teen and all that happens in between. Girls have more obvious changes, from baby dolls to Barbies, then posters of their latest heartthrob. In some cases it gets all meshed in one room with no clear sense of who this emerging teenager is.

In this case that is where I came in. Mom wanted to give her daughter an organized room but wanted a third party opinion. The daughter was right at that age where she held some things dear to her but it was obvious that some things were making their ways into nooks, corners and crannies to get hidden, so to speak. She wanted to have certain things out but not where everyone could see it.

As I talked to her about some of the memorabilia she slowly took things off the shelves and said she would be fine with storing them for safe keeping. When I came back with an example of what her new room and furniture would look like, all of the child-like stuff quickly disappeared. She was ecstatic about a new “teen” room and it made it easier to let some of the little stuff go.

It was hard for her at first and she did store a lot which brings me to this conclusion. It is so important to have our kids part of the organizing process through each of these stages so they start learning to let go a little. You don’t have to clear out the memories completely but make it a regular thing so it is not so emotional when they get older. After all when she goes off to college, guess where those boxes are staying?

Comments: 0

To Pay or Not To Pay For Chores

April 26th, 2012
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Every parent has their own variation of how they handle chores around the house, we have even talked about chores here at the Mabelhood in the past.  There is no right or wrong way to do it, but I firmly believe the children should help do SOMETHING.

I’ve gone into homes where the mom rattles off her to do list and clutter issues while falling apart at the seams. Then I ask “What are the kids doing to help?” Ahh, Well, MMM… has too often been the answer. Why do mom’s feel like they have to do it all by themselves? Granted it is best to start kids young so chores become part of their daily lives, but if they aren’t doing chores yet, start now!

But here comes the big question, to pay or not to pay? I understand allowances but I have never used them. Our 11 year old just started getting paid for certain tasks but that is more of a money management teaching tool for us. He has normal chores he must do. All of the kids do. WE ARE A TEAM. There are certain things we have to do in the house so that it doesn’t fall apart or trash and dirty dishes don’t pile up to the sky. Can you imagine if I said, nah I don’t feel like washing the clothes…EVER. I certainly don’t get paid to do them if anything Mom and Dad have to pay for the water and detergent to wash the clothes. We pay to do our chores! My kids look at me quizzical when I say that, probably scaring them out of adulthood all together.

In our home, an age appropriate chore is given to each child. We even have them “graduate” to the next thing, then they all rotate up a chore. They actually get excited about it until they realize the next chore is just as dull as the last. But it gets done and they learn what it means to be part of a team. It’s not about standing over them and hounding them to get it done but working next to them and providing a good example.

I love the idea of intricate chore charts, reward systems and pay rates for chores. I just prefer to keep it simple.

So, what about you Mabelhood readers… Do you use chore charts? And how would you answer the Pay or Not to Pay Question?

Comments: 0

What about your Child’s Development?

April 26th, 2012
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Camp season is upon us & to help you help your kiddos get ready, we’ve lined up some guest posts by LeAnne from Inter-Varsity Camps! Enjoy & post any questions you have for LeAnne in the comments! 

 

If you’re like me, you’re always on the lookout for what’s next in your child’s development.  I want my kids to grow up to be responsible, well-rounded, considerate contributors to the betterment of our world.  And because of that, I’m kind of on yellow alert to make sure I don’t miss an important piece in their development.

For me, one of those critical components is a camp experience.  Why camp?  Because camp provides kids with an opportunity to build independence and self-confidence, make new friends, and improve their attitude towards physical activity, among other things.   How do I know?  I’ve seen it with my own eyes.  I’ve watched shy kids slowly let caring camp staff into their lives, smiled as a camper tries an activity or sport for the first time, and seen the joy on their faces as they hug a new camp friend they hardly knew a week earlier.  If you’re curious, check out some research that came out at the end of last year from the University of Waterloo.  Dubbed “The Canadian Summer Camp Research Project,” this Canadian, 5-year study of the impact of camp on children provides proof of the positive impact of the camp experience on campers.  Researchers explored the outcomes of the Canadian summer camping experience.  Campers’ behaviours, attitudes & values were observed by their leaders at the beginning & end of camp, and with those observations, researchers looked for changes.  Among the findings:

  • New friendships are developed, often with people different from themselves;
  • Positive approaches to resolving personal conflicts;
  • Improved attitudes towards physical activity (a worthy outcome, given childhood obesity rates, sedentary lifestyles and obsession with technology);
  • Growth in self-confidence & independence.

If you haven’t yet completed your summer planning, consider a camp experience.  Fill in a critical piece in your kids’ development.  You might want to check out a contest offering 20% off a week at camp for new campers at: www.pioneercampcontest.com?blog=

 

About the Author:

LeAnne is married and is the proud mom of 2 boys, aged 6 and 8.  Both boys are quickly becoming veteran campers as LeAnne works as VP Camping for Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship.  In this role she is responsible for leading the work of 9 Christian camps across Canada – 4 Pioneer Camps and 5 Circle Square Ranches.  When she’s not working, LeAnne loves hanging out with her husband and her boys, bike riding, playing Wii, and making music together.

Comments: 0

Come Sail Away

April 22nd, 2012
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My kids are far from spoiled, and I myself had a wonderful upbringing, but every once in a while I look at their lives and say to myself “In my next life, I want to come back as one of MY OWN kids”.

It happened last week. We had cousins visiting from overseas and it was all kinds of crazy fun. After several late nights, I allowed them to sleep in and be late for school one morning. This is something I’ve never done before and certainly something my mother never allowed. If we wanted to stay up and party like it’s 1999, I can assure you my mother had us up bright and early to greet that first sunrise of 2000. That makes sense to me – why protect them from natural consequences? But I let them sleep in last week. That one time.

They are currently experiencing something else that makes me think I should come back as them in my next life. They are on a cruise ship performing with their dance troupe. Yes, it’s rough – I know.

I managed to finagle my way in as “Stage Manager” because there was no way these privileged tweens were going without me. So, you’ll have to excuse me – I have to meet Gopher on the Lido Deck for a cocktail. Can’t wait to see what Isaac is serving up!

What about your kids – do you see them experiencing things and having opportunities that were completely off your radar as a child?

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